Friday, September 30, 2011

Alone time, Head Argument & The New Fill

Well last night, I went alone to the store.  Now you may ask why thats a big deal.  You have to understand that for whatever reason in the past few years, I hate to be alone.  Everytime I go somewhere, someone has to come with me.  Strange, I don't know why.  I just guess its anxiety of something bad happening to me.  Just like I hate big crowds, something that occurred as I got older.  Or maybe I was tramatized by news stories (remember the one back in like 2002 or 2003, when those people died in that nightclub fire trying to get out of the building?) and then that same year I was down on 6th Street in Austin during Mardi Gras and everyone was running.  The police were out with the riot gear and it was the craziest scariest moments ever!  So yeah, tramatized.

Lets just say, I've very aware of my surroundings and maybe I am a bit paranoid.  I don't know.  Anywho, so I went to Walmart for deodorant only.  Husband sent me there (at first I said no on the phone, but then I heard the annoyance in his voice.  So I said yes, I'd go get it)  It was nice to go in there, kind of browse and look at things without him rushing me.  It was quiet, chill.  I think I needed that.  I've been really wound up lately due to a lot of personal stresses.  I managed to pick up with the deodorant... a gray zip up sweater (wearing it today, even though I'm sure it will be 100 degrees today but its cold indoors, haha), PB&J crackers for my daughter, got her two belts in the toddler section since she has such a tiny waist, got Snuk two pairs of pajamas, a can of Bush's Honey Baked Beans for my dinner last night and then some Palmer's Skin Therapy Oil for my surgery scar.  I should take pictures to see if this stuff works.  The biggest scar from the surgery is still very visible and very pink.  A co-worker of mine (who had by-pass surgery in January) has been using it and her scar seems to be fading.  So we'll see it goes with this stuff.  And I guess it couldn't hurt to try out on my MANY stretch marks from babies & gaining weight.

While in the store though.... I noticed I had an argument in my head.  One saying I should be able to eat breads or eat things that I want without logging it and tracking it.  I think was getting angry at myself.  Obviously not logging/tracking has allowed me to gain the weight I have.  I guess I was just mad that I can't be one of those people who doesn't have to worry.  I thought of Sarah whenever she tells us about Fat Sarah.  I wonder if thats Fat Amanda (maybe I'll come up with another name for that chic) in there trying to get me off track.  I never thought of it like that until Sarah put that on her blog.  But I guess you could say I was trying to talk myself into doing what I was doing prior...... whatever I wanted.  Its just so funny that I was so mad that I had to put effort into this thing.  Thats when I went got another can off Bush's Baked Beans... for my soft foods (I was on my soft food for 24 hours diet).  See I wanted to just go grab whatever solid foods to eat and eat whatever... even though I knew I shouldn't because I just had my fill two days ago.  But I was strong!  I told FAT AMANDA to shut the hell up and we're doing right by our banded stomach.  I felt happier after that moment.  Because for the first time since being banded, I really am working the band like I'm suppose to.

As for the fill...since eating solids today.  I can tell its doing its job.  Definitely have to watch the breads, had a tortilla.  Whole wheat but still, kind of got a little hung up.  Or maybe I ate too fast.  Gonna be careful.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Tryin to Piss on my Parade, Ummm No!

What up, what up!  Well I'm in a better frame of mind today.  After getting some not so great news related to my relationship with my other half and after being VERY angry.  We have been able to sit down and really talk.  I admit we haven't talked in a long time, like a good session.  A lot of venting and being more receptive to each other's feelings rather than the blame game. 

But the other thing today... went to my TR (True Results) appointment to do a barium swallow and check on my lil' ol' band.  And if all was well... get a fill.  Of course I anticipated the nurse or PA, whatever the hell she is to be a total bitch and of course she lived up to that.  Hence the title of my blog.  I have just come to terms that this woman is either someone that is VERY unhappy in life and wants another person to feel her misery OR she is probably a fellow lapband patient (because I do have to admit, she looks way thinner than when I first dealt with her 2 years ago) and she thinks she KNOWS IT ALL!  Ummm no.  ** side eye **

So I was hoping the lady wasn't there but of course once entering the room where the X-ray was, around the corner she stood.  And looked ill faced.  I just smiled and said "heyyy, long time no see eh?"  She then went on to ask me what has been happening for the past 9 months.  I told the truth.  I did well the first few months then fell back into old habits for awhile.  I gained back like 5-6 pounds and then something just clicked in July for me.  After using and seriously logging what the hell I was putting in my mouth and realizing how many calories I was really eating...... I knew I had to change my ways to seriously lose this weight.  Since the beginning of August, even with few slip-ups... I have been doing the rules of the band.  I have cut out all the juices (although I have had it a couple times, can't lie), still have my coffee daily.  I eat my protein first, then work on veggies.  I'm not going over a cup of food.  But I am snacking.  She asked what kind of snacks.  I said the Special K Protein Meal bars. I <3 them things.  She tells me immediately, those are JUNK!  I'm like really?  Yes!  Wait a minute... didn't you tell me a year ago to drink Special K Protein water since I didn't like the EAS or Atkins.  So whats wrong with the protein meal bars by them?  I mean you give me a freakin packet about Protein Snack ideas or Meals and the shit says on it..... a protein bar under 200 calories and at least 12g's of protein (I admit these only about 10g's) but its close enough to me.  Then I mention how I can still eat breads, etc and I know that if the band was tighter... I probably wouldn't.  She then come at me saying that if a person is eating breads, their just testing their band and you shouldn't be testing your band.  So basically, I'm not suppose to ever eat bread again in my life.  WTF?  Did she miss the memo that every one is different and each of us can eat some things that others with the band can't.  This ain't no damn diet.

Here's my deal... if its working for me and I'm not going over a cup of food at each meal, I'm using the band correctly.  But then I read on their paperwork you can't have more than 1/2 - 3/4 of a cup of food.  Seriously?  When did that change?

Anywho... so she asks me how much weight did I gain back.  I told her I got to 217-218 lbs.  But as of today when they weighed me, I was 211.6.  In your freakin face lady!  In fact, thats the lowest weight I've had since coming to them.  We did the barium swallow and what do you know >>> My band is beautiful and just fine.  She seemed surprised.  So I got to get a fill today, we just did .5 since its been awhile.  I'm now at 7cc's. 

I think she realized I'm not going to put up with her talking shit to me.  I don't deal well with people talking down to me like they know more.  I understand your the nurse/PA but talking to people like their shit does not motivate or encourage them to stay on track.  She seemed to have changed her tune a bit.  She said I can come back in 4 weeks, maybe just to check my progress and go from there if I want another fill, etc. 

I'm good! :)

Btw....... I picked up this nutritional shake called OhYeah! (usually I hate these things, aftertaste -- BLECH!) but its pretty good.  Its the Cookies & Creme flavor.  Now onto 24 hours of liquids, then 24 hours of soft foods, etc.  I'm serious about making this committment.  Now if only I could get the exercising bug.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Weigh In for 9.25.11

Weigh In:  212.6

So did the weigh in for today and I'm down 1.2 pounds this week.  Mainly because I haven't been eating as much.  I guess thats what being sick can do for you.  I just don't feel hungry at all.  But I am feeling better.  Thats 30.4 pounds lost.  Which means I have finally lost the pounds I gained back.  Now back to losing the original 60+ pounds.

I know while at work and on a normal schedule... I did well with my calorie & water intake.  Its just being at home.  I really need to stop being so lazy.  We have bottled water here, so I really need to make sure to get my water in.  I could tell from being outside at my son's game yesterday... that my body was graving it.  As for doing exercise last week, I did none.  But I have good reason, allergies and asthma issues.  Lol.  So I'm going to work on that this week.

Goals for This Coming Week:  Stay under calorie intake each day, get in 72-96 ounces of water daily and SERIOUSLY do 30 minutes of exercise, 3 times this week.  (((Basically same goals as last week, but this time I'm going to check off all of the above)))

Friday, September 23, 2011

Snuk's New Eyes, Not Feeling Hungry.

Details on Snuk's eye surgery (he had a lazy eye since about 8-9 months).  I was ready to go off on the office staff with his eye doctor.  How in the world do you wait until 3:39pm the day before scheduled surgery to submit the pre-authorization to the insurance company?  Then have the nerve to call me at 5pm that day and tell me this.  What am I suppose to do?  Then I have one lady saying don't worry about it... yeah, your not the one that will be held responsible for the bill.  I am.

But I didn't want to wait any longer so I'm sure it went through today and if it didn't, they ain't getting paid by me.  Their fault, not mine.  So he was scheduled for bilateral eye surgery this morning at 7am.  He had no clue.  Seriously... he didn't know what was happening.  Once we got in the back and all the doctors were coming up to him... I think he realized something was happening.  LOL.  He looked confused.  He didn't cry and luckily went willingly with them.

He was squinting from all the light and a lil' dopey.
In the end, his doctor came out and said he did well.  Both eyes were done.  No bleeding, just itchy and sore.  They gave him pain meds but you wouldn't have known.  In fact once we got home, he didn't go to sleep.  He was up and about... being his typical 2 year old self.  IN EVERYTHING!  They said it would take effect immediately, we could see both his eyes were straight.  But the full healing would take at least 8 weeks and it would take a little bit of time for his brain to realize he can see clear.  It looked strange to see him like that, he looked a bit different.  So we will take him back for his post-op check up in 2 weeks and see whats next.  Not sure if he'll need glasses again or what.  But I'm so happy we did this for him.

SIDE NOTE >> As far as eating, I'm not eating much lately.  I just don't feel hungry.  Its probably due to the allergies and not feeling well.  But I am feeling much better today.  I got my prescription for Singulair and my chest is even feeling better (asthmatic over here).   Plus I admit, I haven't stuck to my goals this week due to feeling bad.  I really couldn't taste much for food and well my stomach didn't want anything.  Not sure how the loss is gonna be... I know I am the same as I weighed on Sunday.

As for this weekend... we have our first Flag Football game for my oldest son.  We'll see how this goes.  LOL.

BYOC - Bring Your Own Crazy!

I'm joining in on the fun of BYOC...

1.  If you were a character on Friends, who would you be and why?

Not really sure on this one since... well I didn't really watch this show to know the characters.

2.  If you weren't in your current career what other career do you think you would have done?

Possibly something in finance or even paralegal or lawyer stuff.  I like to argue and I like to win.  Not sure if thats a good or bad thing.  Lol.

3. What did you want to be when you grew up when you were 6?

A veterinarian or a teacher.

4.  Do you think everyone only has one soulmate or true love? Or are there multiple people for everyone?

I don't think that there is just one person for each of us.  Most of the time some people never meet someone to be with for the rest of their life.  I think we meet people, hold relationships and learn from them.. possibly to go onto the next relationship until we meet the most compatible person.  We find companions and friendships to last.  Love is just a part of it.

5.  Repeat question.  Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.

Real life for the past week has been yucky.  Been feeling sickly due to allergies and asthma, but I think I finally feel good today.  Then my youngest son had eye surgery today... and you would think nothing happened the way he's running around right now.  Other than that... just a typical week for me and mines.

As for Blogland -- Just getting back into blogging again and trying to connect more with others.  Can always use the support and information from other people going through WLS post-op.

That about wraps it!  Nothing too interesting.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

What what?! Measurements

So after searching and searching for the past few months... finally found the measuring tape.  And I measured myself today.  Even while being sickly (damn allergies!)

Check them out:


Neck - 14 1/2 inches
Arms - 16 1/4 inches
Chest - 42 inches
Waist - 40 1/2 inches
Hips - 47 1/2 inches
Thighs - 29 1/2 inches
Calves - 17 1/2 inches

Neck - 14 1/2 inches
Arms - 15 1/2 -16 inches (right/left)
Chest - 39 1/2 inches
Waist - 39 inches
Hips - 47 1/2 inches
Thighs - 27 3/4 inches
Calves - 16 1/2 inches

Now not only have I lost almost 5 lbs in the past month but some inches.  Just don't understand why the hips are not going down.  I love my curves but need them to go down too...and the booty.

But its nice to see a difference.

If ya didn't know... now ya do!

So for quite some time I've been using pre-made blog templates by other folks.  That I have loved so much.  However, my fave no longer makes them for free any more.  And well I want something more personalized and like ME!

I tend to get kind of restless and change the look up often.  Maybe its because it really wasn't something I totally loved.  I still can't find something pre-made and free that I love.  So I'm going to make my own designed blog.  >>> Lets see how this goes.

Now something most may not know...I used to run a Nelly fansite.  Yes! Nelly... the rapper.  I fell in love with him back in 2000 when Country Grammar came out.  At that time, I came upon his official website and made tons of friends with the message board community.  In fact, I'm still friends with most of those ladies and a few fellas.  Lol.  At that time I self-taught myself how to use Adobe Photoshop, create website pages with html/css coding and eventually went on to open a fansite on him and the St. Lunatics called DemBoyz.Org.  Although very stressful with dealing with fellow fans, females arguing, internet dramas and even at times dealing with the record label and Nelly's management team.... it was a great experience.  I got to go to 5 concerts and meet up with other fans and have the best experiences ever!

But as life goes... I eventually let go of the site.  It eventually transitioned over time to NellyFans.Net and is ran by a friend/fan of mine.  I haven't messed with websites, graphics in years.  So I've kind of forgot how to design/create things.

My plan is to create/design my blog....... I know I can do this.  So bare with me and the construction of my page in the mean time.

[Edit:  Or maybe not........ I can't remember crap.  May have to pay some one to do this. Hahaha ]

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Allergies & the Band

Ahhhh!  My head is about to freakin' explode!  I can't take no more of these allergy issues.  I feel like I have body aches but I don't... its all connected to the allergy/sinus issues.  And it really is messing with my band.  I can barely eat.  It feels clogged or something.  I drank some coffee this morning, hoping the warmness would break things up.  But then it feels like I can't breathe (unsure if thats my asthma, already took some hits off my inhaler). 

Although I love the season of Fall, I hate the allergens that come with it.  I went home early yesterday because as the day went on, I began to feel even more crappier.  That didn't help.  Still feel shitty.

And today's Fall Elm is even higher than yesterday..... I need to be at work.  I almost called in.  But I need to be here.  I need the hours.  I can't get sick.  Also... I hope this drainage doesn't mess up my appointment next week to get my fill.  I know I don't want to make it tighter if its already tight from all this but what happens once this goes away?  I'm feeling loose again and still need my fill. 

Going to hit up Walgreens for some Tylenol Severe Sinus & Congestion.... I hope this does the trick.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Allergies --- Ahhhh!

And so it has begun!  Hardcore allergy season for me.  I can't take it.  I've been doing so well.  And then, its messing with my freaking band.

I feel like total crap.  Funny thing is, I got tested last year for my allergies and only came up allergic to cats, dogs, cedar and some type of elm.  Whats out here in Austin aka the allergy capital of the world ---

Damn you ELM!!!  And once this and the ragweed are gone... in comes Cedar.  I hope the freaking heat from this past summer killed those trees.

Onto the Neti-Pot treatments, Singulair, Allegra, etc.....

Oh my head hurts and my band feels so swollen from this.  Maybe it will keep me from eating as much? Lol.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Weigh In for 9.18.11

Weigh in:  213.8

Alrighty! I figured I should start posting on my weigh in days.  At least it kind of keeps me more accountable on this mission of weight loss.  I will attempt to get photos going again with the scale too.  [Edit: Got a pic of this weigh-in for today... will post later.]

So I think I gained back a little between the past two weeks but I lost it.  I admit, going to San Antonio and that short week and even the week prior.  My eating was way off.  Then add in I've been working 7:30am to 7pm for the past few weeks to get in OT... and come dinner time I get told "lets just get something to eat somewhere" rather than cooking it.  So you see how that goes.  I give in because I'm so tired.

But I really need to work on preparing dinner for myself.  Usually my husband does all the cooking.  But truth is, I can't rely on him.  He's back to his old mentality and slipped back very easily.  Not even just a month ago I was like forget what he's doing.... I'm doing it this way if he's in it or not.  I need that mojo back!  Because that is what helped me lose the weight.  I am accountable for myself ONLY!  So no more depending on him.  I noticed this past week that I did great on calorie intake all week during the day while at work.  But come dinner time... I'd go over because of the dinner choices.

Not good!

So after talking with a friend, I really need to make these changes and set these mini-goals.  Any way of getting my head back into the game.

This Coming Week's Goal:  Stay under calorie goal, maintain daily water intake of 72 - 96 ounces of water and at least get 30 minutes of exercise in 3 times this week, a total of 90 minutes.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Possible Fill Soon

Well its decided... after almost a year since the last time I've had a fill, I will be going to True Results to get the barium swallow/x-ray done and possibly get a fill.

My goal was to get as close to 200 lbs as possible before going back but I have come to realize some things.

1.  I'm not going to let any one, including a nurse talk to me like I'm an idiot or even make me feel like shit.  Its bad enough I beat myself up regarding this weight loss process.
2.  I know what is happening more with my body and they only know based on what I tell them.  Fact is, I keep gaining back and losing the same damn 5 lbs.

The next thing is since late-July, I have put more effort into changing my eating habits.  I have managed to lose about 4 lbs total.  But in the mix of it, I have been following the lap band rules.  And based on that, I know I am eating no more than a cup.  And I know I end up feeling like I'm starving and I'm searching for food.  And guess what........ I've even kind of caught myself going back to my slider foods because I'm hungry damn it!  I'm not in my green zone or near it.

So after talking to my co-worker who has a band too... I will be going in to check and make sure I haven't done any major damage in the past 10 months and hopefully get a push on losing more weight.  I hate being stuck at the 30 lbs total mark.  And I know NOW that I have to put more effort into this thing to keep going.

I'm scheduled for September 28th!  Lets see how this goes. :)

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Know Your Numbers! A NSV...

So check this out!  I guess you can say this is a NSV for me.  Every year my company does this program called "Know Your Numbers".  Basically, they have a lab come in and draw blood.  They do a blood panel and check everything on you, as well as take your health history.  I knew last years was wayyyy high on the cholesterol part.  In fact, when I went to my physical last November... I let me doctor know, we did another blood panel and yep it was still high.  Shoot, its been going steadily up for years.  Why? Was it diet, lifestyle, etc?  It appears so.  Well I assumed because I lost about 25-30 pounds between 2009 to 2010... that it would drop.  Do you see it went even higher?

I was shocked!

Could the reality be that it was really what I was putting in my freaking mouth?  Yes, I had to finally admit that to myself.  Even after being banded.  I still managed to keep eating all the fried foods, high calorie drinks.. just wrong things in general.  Its crazy that it took from November 2010 until July 2011 for it to hit me how bad I have been treating my body.  I was suppose to start taking fish oil in December and never did.

Even now... with not working out for about a month.  I'm still doing what I can to eat right (minus last week).  But back on track this week.  So they took my blood on Monday morning and I got the results today.  I went from 223 to 186... lower than the first time I had my blood drawn in 2009. 

I'm ecstatic by this news.  Mainly because even though I only lost 4 lbs last month, which seemed so minute since its the same damn pounds I keep adding on after giving up in this process... but it shows that by changing what I'm putting in my damn mouth, has made a huge difference at least regarding my health.  Now I still have some work to do with getting my good cholesterol up above 50 and my ratio under... but it will come with due time.  I definitely do not want to be on meds for this or have a stroke/heart attack at 40 years old.

Goal is to get this fish oil supplement at Target (they have gummy ones that actually taste good), take those every single day.  Keep eating under my calorie goal everyday and get that water intake up/steady, as well as increase my exercise activity... so come physical time in November, not only I lose maybe another additional 8 pounds but my numbers are looking great!

I think I found my motivation again...  :)

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Off Week, Snuky-Poo Surgery and San Antonio Visit

So the past week has been a really crazy and off week for me.  Add in that we had Monday for the holiday, then I had to come in late on Tuesday and Thursday for Brayden's appointments and then off on Friday for the Lil' Wayne concert.  Its just been a jacked up week.

I admit, I didn't get shit done at work this week.  I had no focus.  I hate when I have off weeks like that.  However the plan is to start this new week off with doing lots of OT to make up for the slacking last week and just the lack of time to do anything productive.

Next, I took Snuk for his hearing and vision test with the school.  Why?  Well he's currently getting speech therapy through the ECI (Early Child Intervention) program.  Once a child hits 3 years old, they are transitioned to the local school district.  So I attended the meeting last week on the transitioning.  It starts a few months before the child's birthday.  And well Snuk will be hitting 3 years in January.  I didn't understand the point of the hearing and vision testing by the school districts nurse since I explained he would be going to see his pediatric eye doctor.  But no one listens.  And we had his hearing test just last summer with the ENT doctor.  But okay.  Got there... the nurse did the hearing test, he did good at first and then kind of freaked out when they did his left ear.  I think the equipment was messed up or something, he don't freak out about things like that.  So she just did a manual test (shaking, rattling noses behind his left side)... and he was okay.  Then the vision, which she asked oh... he's not 3 yet, he's just not gonna get this.  I said actually, he won't see it.  He has double vision due to his lazy eye.  Then she remembered that I told her about having the eye situation and wearing glasses since 18 months old, and the latest step was this special eye drop.  So just needed a report from his eye doctor.  Duh!

Well... took Snuk to the eye doctor on Thursday and yep... he will have surgery on September 23rd.  Early in the morning.  I already requested that Friday off.  I'm not too bothered by it, yet!  We kind of already knew this was going to happen.  We'll see how I feel once my baby is in there.  Hopefully once this is done, he will finally be able to see well.  I know the doctor mentioned how there's always a possibility of another surgery later.  *crosses fingers* that it only takes one surgery.

In other news, David and I managed to get away on Friday early before the concert.  The Lil' Wayne concert was in San Antonio and thats about an hour or so away from Austin.  We drove up early and decided to go downtown to check out the Alamo and the Riverwalk.  As well as go eat at this restaurant called Dick's Last Resort.  It was actually a very nice short get away for us.

Check us out in front of the Alamo.  Too bad we didn't get any of us together.  That would have been cool.  But it was a quick trip through it.  Nothing to extravagant.  And it was hot, of course.  Lol.

We eventually made our way down to the River Walk.  Its so pretty down there.  This was his first time visiting it.  I've been there but it was like 10 years ago.  Basically a lot of restaurants, hotels and beautiful scenery.  And then we visited Dick's Last Resort restaurant.  Basically... the schtick is for them to be rude and give poor customer service.  They talk major shit to you.  They do advise you not to take any of it personal from get go though.  They make these funny tall hats and write something about you on it... of course all in fun.  It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  The waiter we had was pretty cool.  All in all... we had a good time and good food.  Next time we'll visit the Rainforest Cafe.

After the visit to downtown San Antonio it was time to hit up the Lil' Wayne concert.  We got there at 7pm and they started the show on time.  Lloyd opened up, then followed by Far East Movement, Keri Hilson, Rick Ross and then Lil' Wayne.  They all put on a very great show.  We had some pretty good seats.  But I think I may have to admit that I'm too old for concerts.  Not sure I can do another one.  Lol.  I know I'm only 30 years old but the music was just too loud for me (crazy for me to say that).  I had this huge headache and was feeling really nauseous.  I do admit I had a strawberry daiquiri... and was feeling kind of tipsy but not enough to cause that.  I'm not sure what was wrong with me.  Other than that... good times!

Check out the photos below... (sorry none from the Lil' Wayne concert, damn phones died right after Lloyd performed).  Enjoy!

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Doubts in blogging atmosphere, Off the Wagon and Hook 'Em Horns!

I kind of feel like I wish I had more to blog about.  Like I've said all I can say about myself.  I don't know how to dig deeper.  Then again at moments I feel like I hold back on here too.  Then there's the thoughts of does it even matter, no one is reading this anyways.  Lol.

Outside of this, I wish I could say I started working out again but no.  I did some swimming on Sunday but I also worked a lot of hours this week and couldn't find the energy to actually work out.  As for weight, I lost (point .) 2 pounds.  Pretty good considering I know I made some not great food choices.  I'm still doing well with bringing my lunch to work and not so good with the water intake.  Gotta get back on track with that as well.  I'm falling off... I can tell.  Uggh!

It doesn't help that hubby is off the wagon all the way himself but the good part is we are doing good with the food we buy.  Yes, we have our slip-ups with getting some fast-food or eating out here and there but we're doing pretty good about taking our lunches to work and for the most part getting groceries to eat lean meats and veggies.  It could definitely be worse for our eating habits.  But I know we need to get back into it again.  He lost 10 lbs in a month.  And me, I've managed to get about 4 lbs this month.  So I know it was successful and we just need to keep going.

The boys went to the UT Longhorn game yesterday.  They said they had a blast.  I'm glad they did.  The only complaint was that they had to park like 6 miles away from the stadium.  I told hubby... well at least you got your exercise in.  Haha.  Here's some pictures he took from his cell phone.  They had some nice father - son bonding time.  Now don't get it twisted, we're usually New Orleans Saints and LSU fans but since we do reside in the city limits of Austin, TX... it was nice to partake in the festivities of their first game of the season.  By the way, they did win this game against Rice.  Haha.

 As for the rest of this weekend... Gotta go to the store to get ingredients to make baked macaroni and cheese.  My parents invited us to their house for a small BBQ gathering tomorrow.  So we're donating that to the food cause.  :)  May get something for desert as well.  Also need to hit up Burlington to check out some jean shorts for my nephew.

Oh...I did find me a really cute top for the Lil' Wayne concert next weekend.  Just need to get me some shoes and accessories.  I think we're going to hit up one of the restaurants down on the San Antonio Riverwalk... debating on if we'll hit up Dick's or the Rainforest Cafe since we haven't been to either one.  We shall see.

As for this following week regarding the goals for weight  >>>  Hmmm... up the water intake and really make sure I get at least 80 ounces a day, try my best to NOT going over my calorie intake for the week.  I'd like to lose a pound this coming week.  Lets see how this goes.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Not feeling great about me...

So after reading a few things here and there... and just the way I've been feeling lately, life is reminding me yet again that I am older than I feel.  My children remind me that I'm old almost every day.  Seeing photos of fellow friends in the same age group and they are now looking older too.

This is what you do once you hit 25+ years as a woman?
What sparked this?  Reading that a friend who is probably 5 years younger than me got a chemical peel.  Which I didn't understand since she's young.  Then it got me to thinking about if I needed one of those things.  But then I'm looking at the options.  I don't understand a word of it.  Then it makes me think about my large pores and how weird my skin is lately.

Then my self-diagnosed ADD thoughts take me to looking at other weight loss blogs.  And I'm reminded of how far a long others have come and I'm still sitting in the same spot regarding my weight. 

Yes, I compare myself a lot to strangers and others.  Its just some natural thing.  And I guess what us women do to ourselves as self-torture.  I know logically... we're all on our own paths for weight loss but I just kind of feel like I'm sucking all the way around.  No support.  Just doing it on my own.  At the end of all the internet searches, reading, etc........ I now am disgusted with myself and now feel down.

Why do I do this to me?  No idea.  Good way to ruin a perfectly good day.  Ha!