Saturday, July 19, 2008

Me, Me, Me!

So I was thinking about it, maybe I should post about my pregnancy...something I've never done. I could careless if anyone reads this or not but its for my last baby and me.

I'm due January 13, 2009 for those who may not know. So far, as of today I am 14 weeks and 5 days pregnant. I found out on May 10th for sure that I was pregnant, early on lets say and this was somewhat a planned thing. I figured since I was diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome), which usually keeps you from getting pregnant. So for it to happen on its own like this, really makes me believe it was something God had intended for us.

So far I've been dealing w/ some major 'morning sickness', mainly the nausea and severe indigestion which makes the nausea worse! I was taking TUMS for it but it just made me feel like throwing up worse. I did actually throw up, in the midst of taking some TUMS. I let those things of course my indigestion is coming back. But I got some Zantac for it so I'm feeling better. And the other morning I had dry heaves, horrible! Especially if you have nothing in your stomach...uggh!

With constantly feeling like crap, I haven't done much in the house and I have to thank David for dealing with me and my hormones. He does a lot in the house for all of us since I've been slacking majorly. The good thing is I got to hear my baby's heartbeat during my last appointment on June 23rd. It was hard to tell, you'd think after having two I'd know but I couldn't tell. David could and obviously the nurse...she said it was 144 beats per minute or something. Not bad for 11 weeks along. I just keep getting paranoid because I go on this website called BabyCenter and read these stories of women having missed miscarriages...basically when the baby stops growing, yet their body keeps going along w/ the pregnancy. Scary thing.

I have a doctors appointment on Monday, so we'll see whats what...just the usual with a minor exam and hearing the heartbeat. I'm sure my doctor will get on my ass for not doing the glucose test I was supposed to do before my 12th week but I just couldn't get back up there. Oh well, it will get done. I think they only wanted me to do it this early because I'm overweight....and want to make sure I don't have gestational diabetes this early. Hmmff. We'll see, outside of that...

I didn't tell everyone that I got my engagement ring, its prettyyyy. Lol. And we've managed to be able to afford going out some. Took the kids to go see Hancock before 4th of July. They loved it, so did we. Then we took Aries bowling last weekend, which was fun...and left me realizing how out of shape my fat butt is. I was sore for a few days. But I'm sure I needed it. Lol. I did realize how much David sucks at bowling. Haha.

I can't wait...for school to get back, found out for sure don't need to worry about school supplies for Nati since she's going into pre-k but do have to get her some school clothes...I just can't wait. They need to be in school. LOL. Thats about it so, just working and watching the days past by VERY quickly.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Missing: A Best Friend

So lots of thoughts have entered my mind about my friendships I hold. And some people don't understand how I can label my friendships with people in groups. But fact is, they are in groups and just because they don't openly admit, acknowledge they do it...fact is, its done. And to any of my friends who may read this, please don't get your feelings hurt as you read this...

First off, I know I'm not perfect and I know that I lack in the department of keeping in touch on a regular basis. I think I try my best though, even if its via email or IM. Sometimes I know I close myself off from other people or when invited somewhere I say "no" all the time. But I think its time for me to be open and honest about some of the feelings I have when it comes to friendships I have. And for those that know me well, you know I'm the type to keep it real rather than bottle it up. However, for some reason I've bottled these things up because I didn't want to hurt others feelings because I do care for people. I think the end result is I want a best friend and when I think about it, I really don't have that.

I have close friends, friends that I stay in contact with and update here and there. But I don't have a best friend. Someone that I talk to every day or even every other day. Someone I can call on when I'm a mad lunatic crying like a big ol' baby. Someone I can just go to their house w/ out calling and hang out for hours talking about stupid shit. Someone that knows me so well that I can just act stupidly goofy with. I'm close to people but not that close. And I realized recently the person I had as a best friend, I never gave that credit of being my best friend or acknowledged it. I miss her. She was there for a lot, there more so than any of my close friends. I officially apologize to you, if ever you read this. You were near and dear to me, I depended greatly on you and even may have pushed you somewhat far. I truly appreciate how you came into my life and how you were there through a lot of my good and bad times...more so than others. I miss you with all my heart, we were best friends. You walked that walk with me through my last pregnancy. You did a lot with me, all the times going to the movies, even w/ Nati in tow...scary movies of all things. LOL. I still get creept out by the zombie stuff. And the way we fell a part, I couldn't understand it. I felt so betrayed by the one person I never seen it coming from. And yes, I may have reacted badly...and even done the one thing I said I'd never do to you.....leave you alone since you had no one else here. I'm truly sorry for breaking that promise. I hope all is well with you...I just wish we could still talk to some degree.

I do wish nothing but the best for you, I wanted nothing but you to be happy. I hope you found that now.