Saturday, January 30, 2010

Weigh Day! Exercise & Other Life Updates!

So its weigh in day again....I'm down 1 pound at 217 lbs.  Whoop Whoop! Doing well.  I think I've hit my goal for my Shape Up or Get Out weight loss group...I believe I put 6 pounds down for the month of January.  And I came close...4lbs.  Next time month will be better!

Outside of that, I got my EA Active for Wii thanks to my hubby!  He had a credit with his Game Stop account and paid the difference to get the game for me.  Good Lord!  That thing really does work you out, its so has a personal weight trainer, a calender, a journal.  Everything to keep you accountable.  So right now I'm doing the 30-day program on it.  It has different intensity levels and I put it on the lowest cause my fat ass can't handle more.  I knew it and I was right.  I woke up yesterday sore as hell!  I needed water in the middle of it.  It had me running in place and I couldn't handle that. Haha.  My legs, thighs, butt checks and middle of my back are sore.  But I'm going to move forward with working out.  D gave me a massage last night and it helped.  But I was feeling real bad last night...not sure if it was my Cedar Fever (allergies) or actually getting sick on top of sore muscles from my work outs.

As for other updates, D and I have decided we're getting married in March on our 3rd Anniversary date.  I'm so happy!  After going back and forth on how to do it and if we should wait, and it being mainly my decision because to him, he said he will marry me whenever.  I decided lets just do it.  Nothing big or fancy, mainly because we don't have the extra money like that right now.  But we'll be going to the Justice of the Peace and doing it, hopefully dinner afterward with family.  I guess the next big decision is if I should hyphenate my name or use his last name only.  In the meantime, I signed us up for an 8-hour marriage class in February.  So fun!  Haha.

Thats about it...

Thursday, January 28, 2010

So Proud of Myself...

So today, I have been feeling really really crappy.  Mainly due to my allergies and asthma.  I had to take my inhaler and a breathing treatment last night.  On top of my allergy meds & nasal spray.  Woke up with a terrible sinus headache and going into work with all my co-workers saying, "Are you okay?  You look bad?".  Nicceee.  Then add in that I think I have a bladder infection starting.  Thats what I get for not drinking water lately.  Then I noticed even with normal drinks, like tea, coffee, pink lemonade....I'm not drinking all of those drinks when I have them.  I never finish it off or it takes me forever.  In fact, I've been using my kids small cup to drink out of at dinner.  I'm not sure whats going on.  But I gotta get this bladder infection thing under control before I have to go to the doctor, so lots of water and Azo pills.  Might have to go get me some cranberry juice this weekend too.

Outside of that...took some new pics, its been a whole month since the last photos of me.  I can tell a small difference.  I'm basically at 218lbs and they were taken today!


Don't mind the  I can sort of tell the least when I put on the shorts this time, very loose.
Oh and the proud moment of the day, I have officially started working out this week.  I'm in the Shape Up or Get Out group on BabyCenter.  We're doing a Biggest Loser team thing.  I'm on BLUE team! Go Blue!  And this week's challenge was to exercise a total of 2 hours.  So far, I've been using my Wii games...and I've done an hour and a half.  Go me!  It also let me know how out of shape I am...haha.  My legs are weak!  And I thought I was going to die (had to grab my inhaler) and yes, I did it while still feeling crappy from the allergy stuff.  I love this Biggest Loser challenges, its making me work out and keeping me accountable to my partner.  I don't want to make her lose.  :)

So thats the good news!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Its Weigh In Day Again & other BAD fun, Whoop Whoop!

And I'm proud to say I have officially dropped down to **drum roll** 218 lbs.  So exciting, that means I'm not that far from Onderland (fyi, thats the 100's) Haha.  And I can officially say that I'm wearing a size 18, as of this week, I switched out from wearing my size 20 to the size 18 work pants or slacks...and they fit very comfy, even on my tummy which seems to be the last place losing the weight.  So it seems the trend for me losing inches is first in my legs, thighs and ass.....then the stomach.  So hopefully by March, I'll be in a size 16.  Which now makes me think about asking my neice for the brand new size 16 jeans I gave her out of my closet back in August...back.  I only think of that because she's lost weight too and definitely doesn't fit into them.  Or since income tax is coming, I may just go buy brand new ones anyways.

Its so exciting to see results and I've come to realize the reason for the 1 pound gain that week was due to water retention and being on my cycle which may happen again, so I'm going to do my best not to let it get to me.  Outside of it, I can say this past week I have done better on my water intake and since getting my 2nd fill...I'm doing better on not eating as much.

Last night I went out with some old friends, it was my friend Laura's 30th Birthday...and we had a blast.  We went to eat at this restaurant called Trudy's, it was pretty good and of course to have drinks.  I had a Sangria Margarita (I think thats what it was called, haha), I don't drink I only maybe drank about 1/4 of the glass and was a bit tipsy, gave the rest to my friend Christina.  We ordered a sampler appetizer and I ate a few things off it and was good for dinner.  So I know the fill is working well this time around.  Now what about next week? LOL.  Thats my worry but I have to learn to have self-control.  After that, we went to the male strip club here in Austin.  It was soooooo funny.  We got a personal lap-dance for the birthday girl and she definitely felt violated afterward.  I didn't give no money out......but for one special dancer.  He had the nicest booty ever on a man (don't tell D that).  Even Laura was like wow!  Haha.  But we're taken women, so we sat back and watched the rest.  But once that one got on the stage, I decided to pay him a little bit of something.  And once he was off, I had to grab him over...and tell him what God has blessed him with.  LOL.  He was like wow!  Then he grabbed me and my friend's titties saying he thought those were nice.  Yeah, caught us off guard...but it was funny!  Then when I left, he wouldn't let me pass........but finally did and I slapped him on that ass. Haha.  I had a fabulous time with old friends.  Something that was definitely needed since I haven't been out in so long.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

My 2nd Fill & Some Real Words

So yesterday I went for my 2nd fill on the band.  My stomach is still sore, I'm thinking she was a bit rough on me.  She told me to do a sit up like thing and was pressing on my port.  I didn't feel it because I got the Novocaine on it again.  But afterward, I felt sore and still do today.  Its bruised.  Other than that, I'm feeling good.  She added 1cc, so now I'm at 4.4cc's in my band.  I did the usual, drink some water in the lobby to make sure it goes down with no problems.  I can tell though that its swollen though.  So I'm still in my 24-hour for liquids only and then 24-hours of mushy, then regular diet again.

However, the real the part where I asked the nurse, please tell me how I'm doing.  No one has yet to really say...your doing good or your doing bad with your weight loss.  They just keep telling me, well...we just need to get you to the green zone.  Okay?  Well where's the support on what to do?  I kind of feel lost in the wind on the direction to go.  Yes, I have the book.  And I've read it.  Yes, I've been online and reading.  Yet, I still feel lost on how much meat and how much of sides I should eat.  Does meat and sides mean the total for 1/2 cup to 1 cup of food at the time.  Its frustrating, feeling lost.  And I have to admit, in the past two weeks I've gone off on a binge of eating whatever I wanted.  That includes bread.  I admitted to the lady, I have ate 2 whole slices of pizza at once time.  And yes, it went down fine.  But I asked her and her response, do you want me to be honest.  Well yeah!  But I guess she's used to people asking and then they get pissed because its not what they want to hear.  However, she's doing with someone who likes to hear it like it is.  I need that.  Or else I allow myself to fall back into that lazy phase.  And well, thats what I've done for the past two weeks.  Excuses and laziness.  She told me, "no, your not doing good".  I was like wow, but it confirmed what I had been feeling.  But then she said, "well, its not as bad as you think.  Part of it is what your eating, but part is the bad and trying to get where you need for restriction because we're in the beginning and still trying to get you to that sweet spot".  She even said it, the hunger feeling will never completely go away.  I knew this.  But thats where my mind steps in and needs to say...stop!  I have been doing awful the past two weeks, so now its time to really get my ass in gear.  So here's my goals that the nurse set up:
  • Lose 1.5 lbs per week
  • Get a scale to weigh my food
  • 3 oz of meat only and 1/4 cup of veggies at each meal
  • Only 1/2 cup to 3/4 cup of food per meal (this should be the meat and sides together)
  • Measure food!
  • Buy a toddler fork, mainly to make myself take smaller bites
  • Take 20 minutes to eat a meal, whatever is left over throw out!
  • If I feel full be for that, STOP!
  • And of course, exercise at least 30 minutes day.
Simple steps....but I haven't been doing any of those things.  Its like I told her, I relapsed almost.  I was doing so well and then its like I didn't care.  Or I excused it.  I now have two measuring cups that were given to me by True Results.  One for home and one for work.  Just need a scale and really stick to measuring the food.  Heck, my lap band buddy bought me Tupperware to store the stuff in and help make it easier for me.  I have to plan it out, thats part of it if I want this to be successful.

Now it may seem like I am doing well because I've lost in total over 20lbs since.  I thought so too, but their counting from my surgery weight and I have only lost 18lbs since November 17th.  I guess that isn't as good as they hoped.  I also know that part of it is my water intake, I'm supposed to get at least 64oz.  So thats something I else I have to work on and it may curb the issue of eating more.  Oh and stay away from fast food!  She wasn't a mean nurse, just someone who is really trying to help me meet this goal of losing weight.  I need someone like that and she actually made me feel better. 

So in the meantime.........on to the next day for starting over.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Weigh In Day

So here's the latest weigh in, I actually dropped this earlier in the week by Wednesday.  Cause yes, I peak during the week but this was taken this morning.

I think I just lost water weight from last week.  So its good.  Basically just lost an additional pound.  Not bad.

I haven't been working out like I really need to.  I know the truth and for some reason I can't get myself to do it.  I need to exercise, I need to drink more water.  I know if I drank more would definitely help in the process.  I actually haven't been drinking water.  Seriously!  I'm not sure what my issue is but I need to make it a priority in my eating habits.

Outside of that, I begged my other half to use some of his credit from Game Stop towards getting the EA Active for our Wii.  I think I'm winning him over on it.  He said he was going to use it towards getting the Wii Resort but we'll see.  I really want that EA Active.  He thinks if we get it, I won't use it.  I promised him I would.  Hope he's on the same page as me........and gets it.  Its not like I ask for video games all the time.  Seriously, I'm really not that into video games.  But this is useful to us both getting healthy.

So thats my update so far...........gotta get ready for work today.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

A lil of everything:

So I went ahead and added a pic of my weight to the profile.  Thought it was a good idea on weigh in days, keeps me accountable to the reality of it all, because believe me...I could lie to people and myself by shaving off a pound or two.  I also got the idea from a blog I visit daily and was so happy to find again, In Weigh Over My Head. Definitely a very motivational person, and I love how real she keeps it.

Outside of that, I've been working really hard.  Kind of, the last two days I've had a hard time focusing on my work.  I really don't know how I manage to sit there for 10 1/2 hours and not get anything done.  But I guess its possible.  My mind just hasn't been in it this week.  I really need to learn to leave my phone alone, especially since I'm able to get on FB from it so easily. LOL.  Then I've managed to get back into Twitter.  I think its mainly because I'm bored.  You'd think I'd be using my time off to be more productive..........with I don't know maybe exercising or something.  Nope! I'm on the internets.  Go figure.

Then, I managed to get into it with friends somewhat.  I guess misunderstandings, that was real nice.  However, I apologized openly to people because well...I did act out before finding out the whole truth.  However, in the end, I still don't trust it.  Is something wrong with that?  I just don't trust anyone anymore.  I guess I need to remind myself that I can only control my feelings and thoughts.  I know a lot of people, well my IRL people think I feel nothing or don't care because I'm sooooo mean.  No, I care.  Its obvious, its on my freaking brain a lot more than they think.  I'm very vocal about how I feel and how a person hurts me.  I don't know why, I'd just rather get it out of my head.  Well, hopefully its all resolved anyways.  At least on my side.

Oh and David did Natalya's hair.......and she took this lovely photo, this is what I call the classic "Tamesha" pose.  She is definitely a character.  LOL.

So thats my lil' update so far.  As for the weight loss thing, I don't want to become obsessed with the scale.  I think that happened when I seen I wasn't pissed me off.  So I'm going to do my best not to let the scale numbers get to me, focus on what I've lost so far.......maintain and do my best in the mean time to beginning losing more.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Worst Week Yet...

So I willingly admit, this has been the worst week for me yet.  I started for one!  Ugggh.  Then, instead of losing or even maintaining, I gained. Yes, its 1 pound but it still means I wasn't doing something right.  And I admit I wasn't doing anything right this week.

I think I was just hyping myself up last week, which really sucks.  I want to do some things to start losing weight, like exercising.  I know thats the biggest one.  But how does a person do that with cold weather?  And then we're in this tiny apartment, there's barely any room in here.  Plus, this week I came back to work and did 15 hours of OT.  I wasn't getting home until after 7pm, eating late and then staying up late.  My whole week got thrown off.  Then throw in some fast food and high calorie drinks, like lemonade, coffee with lots of cream and sugar.  Yeah, I didn't do good at all.  I didn't exercise and I didn't even really watch what I ate or drank.

I'm telling you, those calories are what got me.  Took in more than I could burn.  I need to get it together!  I'm very disappointed in myself.  I know the truth is, maybe from the beginning I had no intentions of doing any of those things I listed last week.  Then I feel like I'm eating everything as normal, like the fill didn't exist.  The feeling of restriction is gone.  Well, at least I have my next appointment on the 20th.  So hopefully that goes better.  But I know I need to get my ass in gear with exercising, thats the biggest factor in this.

Next week the weather is supposed to warm up, there should be no more room for excuses.  The biggest thing, I need to stick to water, I felt my body craving it this week and ignored the signs.  I need Julian come kick my ass!

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Getting into Gear...

So in a way, I think my blog is starting to turn into more of a weight loss blog but a mix of my personal life as well.  But in a way, its all wrapped together if you want to get down to it.  So if you ain't looking for weight loss info, inspiration or all that other stuff involving weight......oh well! 

And yes, I did get WLS (weight loss surgery).  I just want to make it clear to people, its not an easy way out.  I still have to work on my struggles with bad eating habits, struggles with food, struggles with keeping myself motivated to even exercise.  Because yes, even with a lap band, you still have to exercise.  There are rules to having this in, its not so simple in me just getting the surgery and "taa daaa!" all the weight comes off.  Its most effective with exercise and following some eating rules.  I have to admit, no one has openly stated to me anything negative about getting it.  But I wish they would, I would go straight off on a person.  LOL.

So outside of setting up my "wish list", which I think I will put to the side on here.  Basically, my goodies to get for myself for accomplishing my weight loss goals.  Because in the end of it all, it will benefit all areas of my life.  I'm going to start putting it down on here and try to update every day.  Heck, even if no one else is reading it but me.

I joined a group on BabyCenter for the new year, called Shape Up or Get Out Weight Loss.  Another way to keep myself accountable.  Plus they have weekly challenges, this week's......drink a gallon of water a day.  I admit, I can't do that. LOL.  I barely drink much as it is now.  I'm supposed to be drinking at least 64oz a day.  Well I should at least attempt it.  So now I feel bad for even going on there and talking myself out of it.  I'm going to attempt it, starting tomorrow.  Along with walking at work on my break.  I work a lot of hours at work, but I need to make the time to walk so this will jump start some activity until I can get into a gym and do more.  And do some Wii game play at home after I get off.  I love the bowling and it really has made me sore, if that don't tell you how out of shape I am......haha.

As for food, I've done so on my own...switched to eating only whole wheat.  Believe, that was a major thing.  I love white bread, rolls and white rice.  I eat some rice, brown of course but not like I used to.  I'm even drinking 2% milk, I used to drink whole milk.  And I haven't had sodas in almost 2 months because you basically can't with the band.  It can cause trapped gas and since you really can't burp with the band, I don't want to deal with that.  Now its just about making sure I eat something for all 3 meals and not skipping.  I have the bad habit of going for long periods of time without eating, then over doing it.  I really can't over do it now like I used to in the past.........I'm telling you I could eat 4 chilli cheese dogs at once.  Yes, I did on more than one occasion.  Another thing, stay away from the candies and tempting when you work in an office environment.

So thats my plans this summarize my goals:
  • Attempt the Weekly Challenge of drinking 1 gallon of water each day
  • Walk during my breaks at work
  • Wii Bowling at night (fun time w/ the kiddos)
  • Stay away from all sweets and things that I know for sure are not good for me
Hope the rest of ya'll have a good week..........

Saturday, January 2, 2010

I'm a total bum!

I realized, this is what I do whenever I don't have to work.  I get up whenever in the morning (if no plans).  Well now that I'm older I really don't sleep in much and even now...usually I work on a Saturday.  But outside of that, even when I get home.  I usually get in my pajama's or lay around the clothes and then vegg out on the couch or get comfy in my chair at the computer and get on the internets.  Yes, I said internets (thanks to Kidd Kraddick in the Morning).  I probably don't eat until 2-3 in the afternoon.  Yes, I can go that long w/ out food.  But my bad habit has always been over eating to make up for not eating earlier.  I can't do that with this Lap Band.  In fact, last night I managed to get stuck and had my very first vomiting episode......not a great experience.  Literally, I watched all of my food in this order >>> sweet potatoes, greens, and turkey come back up.  The stuff didn't go to my stomach either.  I got stuck because I ate too fast and didn't concentrate on how many bites.

So it came back to haunt me.......then after getting sick, I took some Tylenol since my stomach ached from that vomiting episode.  Believe, there is no real feeling of feeling "restricted".  But that made me more aware of how restricted I am after getting my fill on Tuesday.  Its time to seriously get rid of my bad eating habits, eating too fast, smaller bites and chewing it up well.  Otherwise, I'll get sick.  I hate throwing up, I mean really hate it.  I will do whatever to avoid it.

Then I haven't really used the Wii since last weekend, I guess I can blame some of it on being sick with allergies but at this point I'm still not feeling up to par.  But I know this is truly my every day thing if I'm not working.  Its nice and sunny out, however chilly as heck!  I would like to go out walking but I really can't because the allergies are messing with me, as well as my asthma.  I guess I'll do some Wii time today to make up for the lack of exercising.  I know it will help me in losing weight.

And if you noticed above, that was me talking and excusing my way out of it.......basically to myself.  Yeah, I caught that. Haha.

Time to kick my ass into gear!  I want to be down 60lbs by May 17th.  That is the half way point for my 1 year band anniversary.  I know I can do it.  I just actually have to do it.  Some one help?!  But I have been doing some researching online because truth is, I need a work out regime.  I wanted the Wii Fit but from reading reviews and other folks thoughts, I think I'm going for the EA Active for Wii.  I need something that is actually going to make me sweat and in the comfort of my living-room.  Then there is no more room for excuses, right?  And I'm going to check into those Sketcher's Shape Up's, not for getting my legs, thighs and butt looking wonderful, but I heard their good for walking in general.  Good for better posture and believe, as someone who is a big girl, my feet ache now from the improper foot support.

So here's my wish list:
  • EA Active for Wii
  • Sketchers Shape Up shoes
  • Ipod or Shuffle (something for music)
  • (maybe) a Treadmill
However, it all costs money...and it probably won't come until income tax refund time.  That's fine with me, not too far off.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Updated Pics, What's my true Weight Loss? & First Fill

But thats okay, I was going to blog but I put it off.  Then I was sick...and now I have time.  So I took pics last Sunday to show how much I've lost to those who don't see me everyday.  Plus the last set was right after surgery.  So here you go:

I think I've lost most of my weight so far in my face, neck, some in my arms, hips and legs.  Nothing for my mid-section but I guess that will come later.

So I started debating, at what point should I start counting weight loss?  Do I start from when I was first weighed back in September when I was doing my lap band consultation? Or do I start from surgery date?  Its basically a 5 pound difference.  And when I went to get my first fill this past Tuesday, True Results was using my weight at surgery.  I kind of want to keep on the same track as them but then again, why discount my 5 pound loss that most likely occurred during my 2 week pre-op diet.

So yes, I had my first fill.  I had been building myself up for it in the past week after hearing from my lap band buddy how horrible her first one went.  I mean, they basically couldn't find her port...they found out she had like 4.2 cc's in it already, then they added too much.  Which then lead to her not being able to swallow water or her own saliva.  She had a really scary experience.  But then again, she wanted to go aggressive because she thought she was eating everything in sight.  Truth is, I know she wasn't.  Truth is, I think she thought it was going to totally make that "hunger" feeling go away.  Like the "hunger" you see on Weight Watchers........he exists!  And I believe "he's the devil!", said in the voice of mama from the Water Boy.  Haha.  Kidding, its just so hard and tempting to curb that.

So first things first, I got weighed...and so happy to say that my scale at home matches the doctors office.  Thats so awesome!  So at least when I weigh here, I know its the right weight.  They put me on a table in the X-Ray room, with a pillow under my back.  I was so scared, I am not going to lie...I know that needle they use is long as hell because the hospital sent me home with one for some reason (like I'm going to do a fill on myself, wth?).  They gave me the option of using Novocain or nothing.  I said numb it up, just to be on the safe side.  Thats the only part that hurt, it was the same pain you might have in your gums at the dentist office but in my belly.  I covered my eyes and prepared.  Then she was done.  Haha.  That fast! Go figure, me being a giant baby.  She measured what I had, it was 3cc's and added 0.4 cc's.  So now I'm at 3.4.  I did my water drinking/swallowing test and it all went good.  Definitely a good experience for a first timer...

I plan on weighing myself once a week, on Saturday's.  I'll add that to my side menu......each week.  Thats about it for me on the weight thang!