Saturday, June 26, 2010

New Start from the 4 month MIA!

It sucks for me to say that I've totally let go of any thoughts of being on the mission of losing weight.  In the past 4 months, I've been dealing with so much.  Its been hard too.  I'm not used to so much drama and who knows what else is coming up but I need to get my life back on track.

First it was the wedding in March, then our lease ending in our apartment and moving in with the parents.  The wedding turned out great, but then so disappointing.  Certain people that I thought were important in my life, I found out didn't find me as important.  Then finding out my parents were not paying their bills, which meant we all had to find a new place to live asap.  Then throw in some car pull over's for speeding, etc.  Really?  I swear I was pulled over in the same neighborhood, at least 3 times in a month.  Then David's step-father passed away.  Shortly after that, I get the news I can get fills again on my lapband.  However, I find out I'm pregnant.  All while working, handling the kids and trying to find a new place to live and pay off our old bills to move.  Ugggh!  Finally, we get a new apartment but were not able to move into it until mid-May.  Got to that point, then I find out at the doctor's that this pregnancy is not a viable pregnancy.  Such sad news.  I've never had a miscarriage in my life.  So I waited and waited until it came on itself instead of doing a D&C.  And that finally occurred this past week.  Very painful experience.  Not just emotionally but physically.

Now with that.........and even a few things finally settling down, I'm going to focus and get back on my mission of losing 100lbs by November 17th.  I did gain back some weight during this ordeal.  So as of now, about 7 lbs.  I probably have to do a barium swallow to make sure my band and everything is in place, and *crosses fingers* it is....and I can get another fill and start working out again.  I'm just so ready to get this weight off.  And re-focus all this negative stuff back into positive things.