To this life of being banded. After reading another post, I admitted I'm having a hard time with committing to the life style changes to actually lose weight. Its the most frustrating part about this journey. I browse various blogs, hoping something would click in my head to make me change now. I have been doing things, slowly but then I'm reverting back to the old ways. I want to lose weight. But do I really want to? Thats the question for myself. I know ultimately I have to truly commit. This is the lesson I am being taught right now and one thing a good friend said to me was, "your going to keep repeating this lesson until you pass it! Just like a test".
I have a lot of revelations lately when it comes to commitments in general but especially with my weight. Am I that addicted to food to NOT give it up? Well mainly the bad stuff. I think so. I don't think I would have ever admitted that to anyone else. I have said it to my husband and mother previously. Even from the beginning of surgery, in my head I never wanted to not eat this or that to lose the weight. I just wanted the band to force me not to eat as much of it. Oh yes, even now after looking back I can admit I had that idea of the "Magic Band" to fix it all. Maybe that's the truth in it all. I don't think I was ever committed. So you see my true confession on this. I have been in denial, I have given excuses and even just plain given up.
I know I want to lose the weight at the end of it all. Even if my intentions previously did not mean actual 110% commitment (thank you! Lap Band Gal). I know that I've been reaching out and reading these blogs for a reason. So how to change these bad habits that have me stuck in one spot?
I'm searching for the answer now........
<<< SIDE NOTE: And you see a few posts back how I didn't want to turn this into a freakin' weight loss blog. Hahaha...... It somewhat is because this is a part of my life (another sign of denial), I think I'm learning it keeps me accountable. Even if only a few people read it.