Hi There!

So I've been really busy... school has wrapped up for the kids and for me as well.  I finished my two classes for summer time... with A's!  And now I am off until fall semester starts in September.  Woo hoo!  So happy to have downtime.  Of course, I still have to work but I'm okay with that --- plus I will be able to focus more on work.  I applied for a new position, I've been with my company for 6 years and in my position for almost 5 years.  I'm ready for new learning opportunities.  ** crosses fingers **

As for weight wise in the past month... I hit another stall, which is fine.  A lot of people started asking if I lost even more weight, I guess even though the scale wasn't moving... my body was transforming.  And then bam! The scale started to move again - even if a little.  Add in that I've been sick with the stomach bug the last two days.  I'm all for some weight loss with the illnesses because it usually stays off.

Thats another thing... I feel like I've caught bugs and flu's and illnesses more in the past year than I have ever caught.  What is going on?  Its like my immune system is not up to par.  I hate that.

I also want to note about my measurements... I've been good overall about taking them at least monthly but stopped in February.  Just got busy.  So I took new measurements tonight and seeing them compared to when I first started... I'm like wow, even seeing them compared to February --- now makes sense why people thought I was losing weight, even though my scale wasn't reflecting it.  I like seeing numbers... this makes me feel better overall when the scale is not acting right.  Lol.

10/21/2014:
Neck - 15 inches
Left Arm - 16 3/4 inches
Right Arm - 16 1/2 inches
Chest - 47 inches
Waist - 43 inches
Hips - 52 1/2 inches
Left Thigh - 29 3/4 inches
Right Thigh - 29 1/2 inches
Left Calf - 18 inches
Right Calf -18 inches

02/09/2015:
Neck - 14 inches
Left Arm - 14 1/4 inches
Right Arm - 14 1/4 inches
Chest - 43 1/2 inches
Waist - 37 3/4 inches
Hips - 47 1/2 inches
Left Thigh - 26 inches
Right Thigh - 26 1/2 inches
Left Calf - 16 inches
Right Calf -16 inches

06/11/2015:
Neck - 13 3/4 inches
Left Arm - 13 3/4 inches
Right Arm - 13 3/4 inches
Chest - 41 1/4 inches
Waist - 36 1/4 inches
Hips - 44 1/2 inches
Left Thigh - 24 3/4 inches
Right Thigh - 24 3/4 inches
Left Calf - 15 3/4 inches
Right Calf -15 3/4 inches

So summer time is here... it seems weird to say that.  I never expected this school year to go by so fast.  My youngest graduated kindergarten and is now officially a 1st grader.  And then my daughter graduated from 5th grade and will be entering middle school next year.  :(  Makes me feel sad and old at the same time.  Lol.

In other good news is my oldest... this has been the roughest school year I've had with him.  He's really good about grades but this year being his freshman year in high school was so stressful for me.  Somehow, he managed to pass all of his classes, even with just a 70.  He got his credits and that is all that matters.  No summer school or credit recovery classes for next year.  I just hope he learns from this past year and does better in his sophomore year.  I could use less stress since I plan on taking more classes in the fall to keep on track for my graduation in May 2017.

So yeah, thats about it in my life... now that I have more down time, it means more time to go walking and actually get some exercise in.  I feel the motivation now.  Oh, and we got a new dog... Gumbeaux, he's 10 weeks old and he's making sure I get my daily exercise of walking in.  I think I tire him out more.  Lol.

A little reflection

So I've had about (blank) number of stalls since surgery with regard to losing this weight.  And when going through these stalls, I realize I get really down and negative.  I don't tell others often how I feel, especially when its negative.  I just smile... and say a positive thing and keeping pushing.  But I realize that is also not good because then I'm not being accountable for some of my own decisions.

Weighed in last Sunday... I also have random weigh-ins lately.  If I don't like the number on the scale, I'm like... weigh tomorrow.
Just works for me.  Lol.  So I weighed and I'm at 178.4 lbs.  But you know how the scale goes... up and down a few depending on the time of the day.  I am a scale whore... I hate it but I can't help it.  Its so addicting.

So with that... I chose to go back over my numbers and see where I was 6 months ago, considering I am 6 months out from my surgery and I got to have my 6 month check up with my surgeon.

In total... I have lost 64 lbs. since re-starting my weight loss journey and the process of getting surgery back in September 2014.  Since surgery, I have lost 46 lbs.  My doctor said I've lost about 55% of my weight.  Its good considering I'm a revision.  However, if it was my first surgery, he would have wanted me to lose about 20 lbs more (so 84 lbs.) at the 6 month mark.  I wish I would have too.  Lol.  The good news is I have lost consistently.  He feels overall, I'm doing well.  However, I seem to be harder on myself than he is.  I chose to have my metabolism tested... since it seems I only lose if I'm eating less than 700 calories a day --- that was my theory.  However my metabolism is normal.  But the doctor agrees, if I really want to get to my ultimate goal of 157 lbs (which he set for me originally) then I need to really get out there and exercise but also drop my calories to 700 a day for about 5 days, then up them to no higher than 1100 for 3 days and start it all over again.  I go back to see him in mid-July.  I really want to be down to that 157 lbs. or lower --- not for him, but me.  Thats about 21 lbs.  I think its possible, I just have to get back to basics and truly exercise --- but making time for it is where I'm running into the problem.  I'm tired always --- and exercising doesn't help me.  Lol.  But I know my body is craving it.  Focus is what I need.

So I can do this!  But again... looking back, I realized I have gone from a size 22 in jeans to a size 14.  I have gone from a size 2xl in shirts to a large.  I even realized I have gone from a ring size of 8 to a size 6.  I feel better overall, I'm sure I'd be more tired if I was carrying all that weight around on me.  But looking at the numbers and doing that in 8 months of time... losing weight and changing some habits... because I have changed a lot of eating habits - but I do have cheats.  Lol.  I am proud of me.

I'm realizing... even with the stalls, my body is still putting in work and changing --- especially with how things fit.  These are things I've told others, but I need reminders too.  People tell me... your shrinking all the time... but my mind is not keeping up with it.  Some days I feel it and others I'm like... OMG, your so fat.  Ugh.  I hate how my brain is wired when it comes to my self image at times.  Loving yourself is hard work.

Life Happens

First, let me show off my three kiddos.  I got some spring pictures done of them in the Bluebonnets here in Texas.  Its a Texas tradition I guess.  Lol.

Where have I been... I've been out of it lately.  Just super busy, back in the groove of school again - luckily its only about 4 more weeks and done for the summer.  The classes don't seem too bad.  I'm taking Quality in Healthcare Management (for my major) and Intro to Christian Ethics.  Interesting stuff.  After finishing these two classes, I will be officially classified as a Junior in college.  Kind of crazy to me.  I do want to know... I got straight A's this past semester, which has brought my overall GPA back up to 3.62.  That college algebra class last summer really dropped my GPA when I got a C in it.  I dread the thought of taking Intro. to Statistics and Micro/Macro Economics.  Hopefully I will do well when I sign up for them next year.

Personally, I was wrestling with the idea of renting a house... buying a house... what to do with our living situation.  Its so hard being a grown up.  We have lived in our four bedroom apartment for the past 5 years.  The kids are getting bigger and it seems like the space is getting smaller.  I mean, technically, our apartment is the size of a small house.  Its 1398 square feet.  But I need a house.  We really considered renting but I was too scared to pay up to $500 more a month in rent.  And in reality, why do that if we can save that money... and buy a house.  So we are currently in the process of getting into this program to get our credit scores where they need to be to qualify for a home mortgage.  Exciting times... I have prayed on this long and hard, we will buy our own home.  Even if its in the next year or two.  But I will make it happen.

As for the weight loss stuff... I'm in this weird stall thing.  I hit 179.8 --- and then my weight has been going up and down within 1-2 lbs.  I know I can do better with the eating and I know I should exercise seriously... but I'm constantly running out of time in the day.  I'm working a lot... more than 40 hours a week.  Class twice a week, then Naty has softball practice and games at least 3 times a week.  Then Aries... he's had doctor appointments lately for his shoulder.  I am always trying to squeeze things in.  Hopefully after school lets out for the kids, I can really get to walking and exercising.  I did realize when I was going back to my car one evening, after one of Naty's games... I jogged/ran to it... I wasn't out of breath and it wasn't so bad.  So I've actually had the urge to want to get moving.  Amazing how losing 62 lbs can change things in terms of working out.  I just need to push through this month...

Our family also just acquired a new pet... his name is Gumbeaux (like the mascot for the New Orleans Saints)... he's a cocker spaniel and such a cutie pie!  Maybe taking him for a walk will help me.  :)  Once I can take him out.  Lol.  He's almost 6 weeks old and needs his vaccinations before I can take him out.  So after next week, I take him to the vet then to get his first set of shots.

I'm sure he will keep my running around.  In fact he's already changed my routine... I wake automatically at 6am to get him out of his crate to potty in his pin on his puppy pads.  That might actually be a good time to do some work outs - at home? I dunno... I'm so lazy.  Lets be real, I hate exercising... how do others do it?  I wish I had the motivation, but I really don't.  If I could just do it at least 3 times a week, I'd be good.

Add in, I've been tired a lot lately... just running, running and more running.  Taking my vitamins, not helping.  I need a weekend of pure sleep.

So yeah... thats a little update.  I am hoping to really get into the 170's one day soon...... and keep pushing toward my ultimate goal of 157 lbs.  I gotta get my mind back into this.  Its such a hard fight.  And when life takes hold, its so much harder.

Hi!

So I've been pretty busy with work - I've been putting in more hours for overtime, really need the money!  Also, I'm finishing up my last two classes this semester... so happy to be done this coming week.  It wasn't too bad, the classes but I'm kind like ugh.  I start my summer semester two weeks after the spring semester ends, but thats only for five weeks too... and then I'm done for the summer!

In other news here is a photo from my induction into the Alpha Sigma Lambda Honor Society this past Saturday.  I am so excited to not only show off my cute outfit... and the fact that I'm wearing my size medium skirt... but also how well I'm doing in college classes.  Something to add to my gown when graduating.  :)

Recently, I really wanted to plan a trip for our family... like end of summer trip, but not sure that will happen.  Low funds = sad face :(  The other thing is we are considering moving into a house this summer from our apartment that we've lived in for five years.  If we do, that will take extra money so we have to make decisions.  Its just frustrating because I've always had this urge to travel and I want to travel now!  One day, I'd like to take my whole family out for like a 2-week cross-country trip... check out different states, etc.  I also want to plan a cruise for my husband and myself - since we've never done one before.  And even a family trip to Destin, FL.  One day we will go to all of those places but I know its more important to get things right on the home front.

Thank you to those who offered the condolences on my grandfather passing away.  I really do appreciate it and I'm okay.  He was suffering from lung cancer and I'm happy to know he is no longer in pain and with my grandmother.

Alright... as for my weight, I weighed in this past weekend at 180.6 lbs.  I'm almost in the 170's.  I also decided to buy new shorts for summer use... and I'm wearing a size 14.  How did that happen?  Lol.  I ended up canceling the YMCA membership that I never used.  Ugh, I knew I'd waste the money... never fails.  I gotta get my priorities in check when it comes to exercising.  I know exercising is key and a good thing overall.

The good news is I'm doing well with my vitamins, my logging... could improve on water intake but I do only drink water or G2's at this point.  As for food intake... some times I feel like I can eat way more than usual and other times the pouch is super tight.  Its so strange.  Then I see my husband and he can barely eat anything at all STILL.  So weird.

Alright... so that is all for now.  Until laters!

Short Update

So my stall I was experiencing finally broke... I knew for a moment I was eating anywhere from 1100 - 1300 calories but went back to tracking, there were some days somehow I went over that.  Snacking and grazing, ugh.

So I went back to seriously watching things and the scale really wasn't moving either.  I think with my next follow-up appointment I am going to ask that my nutritionist/doctor test my metabolism.  Apparently they were supposed to do this when I had my first appointment but the machine was down the day I came in and it was never done.  And the only reason I'm thinking of it now is because I wonder if my body has this super low metabolism or something... like does it mean I can't eat over a certain number of calories if I want to lose.  And it makes me wonder if I do since I know I didn't eat much in the past week... and dropped like 4 lbs or something.  So since the last time I updated here, I am down 4.2 lbs.

Add in... I had to drive to Reno, NV from Austin, TX, last Tuesday to see my grandpa.  He was on hospice since last September when he was diagnosed again with lung cancer.  He eventually passed away on Friday night.  I am happy I was able to make it up there in time to see him.  I also was able to see other family I haven't seen in almost 18 years.  I lived in Reno from eighth grade until my Junior year in high school and I haven't seen my certain family or friends since leaving.  So it was nice to see others.  It was definitely a long, longggg drive.  But I didn't eat much, add in I lost my count on MyFitnessPal for the days of logging in.  Lol.  But it makes me think the lower calorie count may have made the difference.

Still not working out........ why? No real reason other than, I don't make myself go.  Ugh.  Going to cancel the membership with the YMCA.  I have work out videos and things at home and well the weather is warming up, I can always go walking around the neighborhood... in the meantime, I'd rather save the money.

Weigh-in, back to school...

Weigh-in... I'm down like 0.6 lbs. or something...

I tried to schedule the Zumba... but unfortunately there were other more pressing things happening at home that prevented me from attending.  The classes are offered on Monday & Wednesday evenings.  So the plan is to attend tonight at 6:45pm, wish me luck!  I also start two classes this week --- my mini-break from school has ended.  I have class on Tuesday & Wednesday evenings from 6pm - 10pm.

I'm also trying to get some major overtime in at work.  Its being offered and I want to take advantage of it.  Definitely can use the extra pay because I put a deposit down on a condo in Destin, FL for a week of vacation in early August.  So need to save for vacation time.  :)

I am in the works of figuring out how to make time for exercise... I'm trying to consider if I should get up at like 4:30am and go into the gym at 5am... just to get it over with for the day?  I'm not much of a early riser, but thats one thing I'd like to be - seriously.  I wonder if this would help?  Because I know that once the evenings come, I am ready to stay in the house... or I'm busy with school, kids activities or who knows what else.  I'm thinking morning is the time to go... get some cardio in, even if its not Zumba.

I'm also resetting my eating habits... kind of stepping back to the liquid phase and slowly phasing things back in to detox myself of the bad carb habits, etc.

So here's to breaking my 3rd stall!

Officially in my 3rd Stall

And... its all my fault.  Lets keep it real, since coming back from New Orleans I have been on a complete nose-dive of bad choices.  Oh such a slippery slope.  I stopped logging all of my food in MyFitnessPal - so technically, I have no idea what calories or protein amounts I am consuming.  Add in... water intake sucks!  Which has effected my pooping cycles.  Yeah... I've been a bad girl!  And I even stopped with my vitamins... and of course I haven't started working out yet.  Man I suck at this.

I got down to 187.2 lbs. about 2 weeks ago... and I've been going up/down within 2 lbs. since.  Here is my weigh-in from this past Saturday.

I have decided I have to stop the madness or I will have wasted another shot at this weight loss thing and I want to keep pressing forward in reaching my 1st goal of being 157 lbs.

So first things first...... charging my FitBit back up.  I will be wearing that again, all the time.  I really need to work on getting more sleep time in - bad habit since the trip of staying up until midnight or after and then trying to recover my sleep by taking naps or doing nothing on the weekends.  I hate the feeling of being tired.

Next step....... log all food.  I need to.  I have to make myself accountable, its the only way I will know what I am putting in my body (Duh!).   Which means, also making better food choices... no more fast food - yes, I've had some McDonald's chicken nuggets or chicken tenders from Raising Canes or eating out at other restaurants.  I may not each much... but I know ultimately, not good food choices.  Grocery shopping weekly again - meal prepping again.  Plus, I found out my kids really love cheese sticks - which I do too (one of my go-to's).  And they love apple slices with peanut butter.  So I can also get them eating good things - we've been eating pizza rolls, corn dogs or taquitos (bad!)

Water........ get in at least 8 glasses a day.  I was so close and then I let it drop off.  Plus I've been drinking wine lately - almost a glass a night.  Not sure why either.  Not that its bad, but I want to do better with my water and if I have room for wine later - okay.  Lol.

And finally.... begin exercising.  I'm taking Tracey's suggestion and look at the class schedule and actually schedule it into my own - it will remind me and well, then no more excuses on forgetting, etc.  This Friday, I plan on paying for 4 personal trainer sessions too.  First class starts tonight..... Zumba here I come!  And they have another on Wednesday evenings.

So yeah............ thats whats going on.  Wish me luck on getting back on track.  I have 30 lbs. to get to my official weight goal.  I'd like to be able to adjust that to lower... but its time for me to tackle that beast first.

:)

What I'm eating.. No exercise yet.

I admit... I have not been exercising (but I need to).  I paid for my YMCA membership and I haven't been back.  Ugh!  And they took out my monthly fee yesterday.  Ugh!

This bad-dreary weather makes me want to stay indoors and do nothing.  I know that is an excuse, but thats how I really feel.

I also admit that lately... I haven't been logging my food intake in my MyFitnessPal.  I login daily, only so I don't lose my streak.  LOL.  And also so I can log my weight somewhere.  I don't get it.  So what am I eating lately?  Tracey had me thinking about this and I figured I'd post it on here... so for the past week and a half, its been the following:

BREAKFAST:  1 cup of coffee (with cream/sugar - not measured)
                          AdvantEdge Protein Shake (last week)
                          Frosted Mini-Wheats cereal with 2% Mootopia Vanilla milk (this week)

LUNCH:  Natchitoches Meat Pie, I can't remember the rest (last week)
                 2 Deli Sliced Turkey & Muenster cheese rolled-up (this week)

AFTERNOON SNACK:  2 cheese sticks (last week)
                                          Small bag of Cheetos (this week) - bad, I know.

DINNER:  Varies... some not so great choices.

DRINKS:  1 Gatorade G2, water.


And I admit lots of cheats... like wine, some girl scout cookies.  I don't remember what else because I haven't been logging my food.  So yeah, not that great in the food choices department.  The only good thing going is --- I take my vitamins every day.

I really need to get it together before this goes even worse.  And I need to stop wasting money on a gym membership.

So that is all.....

Jobby-Job, NSV... boots!

Good morning!!!

Okay... so I've been in a weird place lately, not weight related more so with my career and where I want to be in five years.  I've felt extremely tormented with the thoughts of moving on from my current job.  Not that I don't love the work I do or some of the people, but I've come to terms with the fact that...

1. There appears to be no room for advancement.  (I want to be in management) And we haven't had open positions or even ones unilaterally at my company for a long time.
2. No room for growth or learning new skills (I need this... I am bored, thus the reason I returned to school too).

I admit, I feel like a bad employee... guilt is mixed in too.  I've worked at my company for six years now.  I moved into my position at about 18 months into coming to work with my company.  Since then, I've been kind of stuck.  I really do hate the thoughts of leaving.  I fear leaving and going somewhere that is not great.  So hard.

I just know I have more I can offer and more I want to learn.  I thrive on learning.

Now outside of that... I did weigh-in on Saturday... and I'm down 2 more pounds.  Lovely.

One other major NSV is that I was finally able to put on my riding boots that I bought about two years ago.  

So yeah... I had a good weekend.  And I'm happy to say that Girl Scout Cookie Sales are OVER!!  They are all out of my house now.  However, my daughter has started softball for the spring and thats about 3 months.  LOL.  Good news is I don't go back to school until the end of March.  So a small break.  And I do have to admit, time has slowed down since I'm not taking any classes right now --- strange!

Alright... that is all.

New Bed, Hair loss and Weigh-In.

I have no real fun news today... other than I weighed late for me due to being off last week.  Hmmm... well my husband and I got a new bedroom set with new mattresses on Saturday.  It made me want to lay in bed all day yesterday.  So comfy!  Add in it was a cold day yesterday but I was super lazy yesterday.  Haha.

Hair loss >>> I heard a lot of people talking about it after having the VSG and I've been taking my 10,000 mg of Biotin but I think its hitting me.  I've always had thick hair... but this morning in the shower, I swear a lot came out.  Way more than I expected.  No bald spots but just seemed excessive to me.  I was talking to my friend how I needed my hair thinned out... I'm growing it out anyways from a short bob style... but due to its thickness, I usually have it thinned out.  Maybe its thinning out on its own.  I'm kind of okay with a little on its own.  Lol.  Just not too much.

Okay so here's my weigh-in for this morning:

Glad to be in the 180's finally... I know for others, it seems like its coming off in good time but it seems like I stayed in the 190's for awhile.  I just need to get things in gear, like go visit the gym that I am paying for now.  Starting this week.  Another thing I want to work on is meal prepping again, I did better and well I felt better... when I meal prepped.  So that's my plan this evening - grocery shopping and preparing for the week.

Mardi Gras 2015 in New Orleans & other updates...

Well I left for New Orleans early Friday morning with my husband and kiddos.  We stayed with family (my hubby is from New Orleans) and for the first time ever, I got to experience what Mardi Gras is like.  We attended at least 5 different parades... there are more.  Nomtoc, Thoth, Bacchus, Potreus and Orpheus.  I just want to say that it is definitely something everyone should experience.  I took my kiddos out there and we had so much fun.  I will say... I was super afraid of getting smacked in the face with beads.  Lol.  But it wasn't the beads that got me... it was a damn football they threw off a float, right in my neck.  Other than that, good times!

The king for the Bacchus Parade was John Reilly, if you don't know who he is... he played in Step-Brothers and Talladega Nights with Will Farrell.  Along with other movies...  My husband caught some beautiful beads kissed by him, as the king and we caught some Doubloons with his face on it.  It was pretty cool.

Outside of that... I will admit, I ate some food that probably was not that good for me.  I will note... if you ever go to New Orleans, buy yourself a meat pie... from Brother's Mart (its a gas station and their everywhere there).  They are sooooo good!  I wanted to just keep eating them, but my sleeve said NO!  Lol.  I attempted to eat Mexican there... from this restaurant called El Paso Mexican Grill, umm... yeah, they were lacking any spices in their food, it was the plainest tasting Mexican food I have ever ate.

The family and I spent Friday through yesterday in New Orleans and drove back this morning.  Which meant we got home by like 8:30am.  Awesome time... right?  Thinking I would be able to go to sleepy, NOPE!  I ended up going into my surgeon's office to find out the results of my ultrasound and blood work.  The good news is my gallbladder is fine, no stones.  The bad news, no real answer for why I had those pains.  I haven't had them since.  Its possible I was dehydrated or my stomach is being a butt.  They did note that I had a lot of calcification in my kidneys, that's something I knew about from when I was pregnant with my now 6-year old.  Not sure if that has caused the issues or what since the pain was on my right side.  I want to say my kidney stone issues, lead to pain on the left.  The other thing is he mentioned I had a lesion on my liver, but it is benign.  He just wanted me to be aware --- I guess in case I'm in a car accident and the vessels could bleed or something.  But he said its nothing I should really be worried about.  Blood work was fantastic too... even my protein, glad to hear I'm healthy.  I guess I will just watch what I'm eating... and see if its only certain foods or what.

Also... I would like to note that I did lose 0.8 lbs. on my personal scale... and I think 1.5 lbs. in the doctors office.  Since his scale differs from mine by a little bit, but whatever.  I am just happy I lost something while being off the normal routine for 5 days.  Now back to the usual... starting tomorrow.  :)

3 Month Follow-Up, Dean's List

I weighed in on Friday... and hit 192.6 but then weighed again on Sunday and I was down a little more.  So I will say my weigh-in for this last week is 191.4.  I am down 2.4 lbs. this week, its nice to see the scale moving again, even if in smaller increments.

I went for my 3 month follow up with my doctor and he noted that my weight loss as slowed down a lot.  I lost 8 lbs. in the last 6 weeks.  I know for the last week and a half, I haven't been eating much because of the pains I was getting after eating.  But I ate this weekend and I didn't feel it.  I'm not sure, but I have an ultrasound tomorrow to look at my gallbladder.  I guess its better to make sure nothing is going on than wait it out.

In other news... I finished my last two classes last week.  I found out I got an "A" in Intro. to Psychology.  Waiting on my final grade for American Government, hoping its an "A" as well.  But on my last day of class in American Government, I found out that I made the Dean's List for the Fall 2014 semester.  I was actually surprised and pretty excited that I accomplished that.  It came right on time, when I was  questioning myself about spreading myself so thin with doing school, working full-time, taking care of my family and even all of my kids activities.  I needed this...  Now I hope I make it for the Spring semester too!

And now that I have a break from classes for about 5-6 weeks... I am going to take advantage of it to get things in order around the house and do other things I've been needing to do.  Not just cleaning but re-arranging rooms and painting too.  

So thats about it... nothing to exciting.

The future of my gallbladder

I am pretty sure... that I will need my gallbladder out soon.  Since losing about 25 lbs. or so, I've been experiencing pains in my right side.  It hurts when I press... or stretch out.  Usually every day but nothing that is really bad pain.  However in the past week... every day, no matter what I eat the pain comes on and its more intense and now I feel it in my back almost... like directly under my ribs.

I go in to see my surgeon tomorrow for my 3 month follow-up.  The last time I saw him, I mentioned the pains and he said it was probably my gallbladder but we would just keep our eye on it and to drink more water.  Not sure what water will do.

I am ready to say goodbye to my gallbladder though... this pain isn't as bad as having kidney stones but its measuring up to it.  Add in, its making me not want to eat... I haven't been getting my protein in like I should or even my calories up to where I need it.  

I'll have to see tomorrow.... :(

Ran down...

Lately... I've been going, going and going..... does any of that include actual exercise? No. Its just been life.  I would really like to know how other women do it.

Going to school... two classes a week and technically both are kind of mentally exhausting.  So much information to retain in such a little amount of time.  I'm taking Intro. to Psychology and American Government.  I'll be honest, my psychology class wasn't what I thought it would be.  I thought it would be more interesting.  As for American Government, I enjoy that a lot.  Its just so much to remember when it comes to final exam.  Last week... I seriously blanked out on the test, yet I knew the information.  Didn't make any sense.  Good news is this is the last week for these classes, just have to pull through with all the work and exams.

Add in dealing with the girl scout thing... yeah, come next year if Natalya is in the troop still, I will not be volunteering.  I don't know why I always run myself so thin.  I feel like I can do so much but then I'm stressing myself out.  I really need to focus on school and not volunteer any more until I'm done with school.

Funny thing... is Natalya starts spring softball in late February.  So that's probably two practices a week, plus two games a week... we'll see how that turns out.

All of this... leads to how I feel about being at home.  My house is a total wreck almost all the time.  Okay, more like it looks very lived in.  The two oldest do chores but its not really how I like it, and when I have down time I don't have the energy to go behind them and clean it right.  I just feel like I'm failing in running my family right now...

I'm so tired. :(

I'm sure it will get better...

Moving in the right direction

The good news is... my scale is continuing to move down while I'm sitting in the 190's.  I'm sure it could move a little faster since I haven't started exercising officially yet.  But the fact that its moving, is all that I'm happy with.  This past week has been off for me.  I know it may sound weird but I seem to be more on track with following my dietary and nutrition rules while at work... when I'm home, I just fall off and don't think of things.  I missed work last Monday and Tuesday because my youngest had a stomach bug.

Another thing... I decided I wanted something else to drink other than water... I can't do the Crystal Light or Mio right now.  I think I grossed myself out after having it for so long in the beginning.  So I've been having at least one Gatorade... I wanted fruit punch and they didn't have it in G2, so I have the regular one... but when I drink it, if I drink a lot at once... it makes me feel nauseous.  Most likely the damn sugars.  I know that is a good thing, crazy how the sugar makes me feel so yucky.

As for weigh-in... I hit 193.8 today.  That is 1.4 lbs. down for the week.  And I'm okay with it, as long as the scale is moving down.  It's so strange how this weight loss thing works, I was bouncing between 200 and 198 for like 2 and a half weeks... then I start losing again.  I go for my follow-up with my surgeon next Friday, which will also make me officially 3 months out from the revision surgery.

That means, so far I have lost 48.2 lbs. total from my highest weight in August and starting the new process for surgery.  I've lost 31 lbs. since surgery itself.  At my highest weight... I was wearing a size 20, that was pretty tight (so probably 22)... and 2xl shirts.  One major NSV this week is moving down to a size 16 petites in pants for work.  I bought some size 16 jeans but I'm waiting until I lose a little more because I have a little muffin top and don't feel comfy wearing that yet... if I pull them up... MAJOR cameltoe and if I pull them down, some muffin top.  I think they are low-rise skinny jeans.  Lol.  But I know I'm at least  5-10 lbs. away from them looking really good --- in my eyes.  In shirts... I'm wearing an XL. I definitely need to go get re-sized for bras... the cups are like lifting up.  My boobs are shriveling up.  :(  But then again... I'm fine with that... I really don't like having big ol' boobs, but I'm afraid of them looking like flat pancakes or something.  Which is how my ass is starting to look.  Main reason I need to exercise and do squats... I like having some junk in my trunk...

So although, I'm not going to be at 185 lbs. when I walk into my surgeons office next week... I'm okay with it.  I feel like I've already accomplished a lot in the past 3 months.  I have decided that since my two classes I'm taking right now, end next week.... I will not only starting working out and making use of the money I'm spending on a membership but I am going to get with a personal trainer there, I know I need that to keep me accountable and stay on plan.

I am feeling better mentally... I swear this weight loss journey messes with your mind so much.

Busy as can be... and weigh-in.

Alright, so I finally got my gym membership with the YMCA last Friday.  Have I gone yet... NO!  Why not you may wonder?  Well... no real reason other than I have been stuck at my house dealing with Girl Scout cookie stuff.  I am the cookie mom for my daughter's troop.  What does that mean... I hold all of the troops cookie inventory, I setup the booths (where you see the girls at Walgreen's harassing you) and somehow end up stuck at the house until the booths end.  This type of volunteering is good and bad.  It is good because I can stay home and work on my school work, I am taking two classes right now, but then its bad because I can't do much of anything else.

Good thing is my classes end the first week of February and that will open up my evenings again, especially the two nights a week I have to attend.  It is a hard balancing act trying to get school work completed, doing things for the kids and keeping my house clean (even with the kids doing chores), along with finding the time for me... which includes exercising.  But... getting the membership was the first step, so I'll take that as a win.

In other news... weighed in on Saturday.  Seems I weigh in either on Saturday or Friday.  I may stick with Saturdays.  Lol.  I have totally stopped eating Lean Cuisines and have to say that since I stopped my weight has started to drop again.  Coincidence? I dunno... but I also started my period a whole week earlier than I was supposed to.  This weight loss thing has totally thrown my cycles off.

I know I'm doing well with my calorie intake, in fact I've dropped it low again.  So its probably me tricking my body... from eating 1000-1100 calories.  I'll jump back up in the next week and then drop again.  Protein intake is good, working on introducing veggies and fruits more.  Water intake is definitely getting better but I've been drinking some Gatorade G2 lately, kind of over plain water and I got sick of the Crystal Light and Mio stuff.  Vitamins are going good... I ended up buying more of the gummy ones, too scared to go back to the bariatric ones right now.  And I'm still having to take my Prilosec, I've been having funny acid issues since week 4 post-op.  Just gurgling and acid coming up my throat, no actual burning.  It also makes me feel like I'm hungry when I know I'm not.

So thats about it for now...

Busy Weekend

Weigh-in day came in and I have broke the 2 or 3 week stall... by only losing 1 lb.  Boooo!

I guess 1 lb. is better than nothing.  I am hoping to have a better week.  I've been doing pretty good with getting protein in and upping my calories.  I decided to drop the calorie intake some for a few days to see if that helps.  Still trying to focus on getting the water in.  Its so hard to get water in, why?  I guess my goal of getting to 185 lbs. by February 6th is out of the running.  Lol.

So although my decision has been made on using YMCA for a gym, I haven't had a chance to get over there and actually sign up.  This week for sure, on Friday.  I am thinking that I may start out working out on Friday, Saturday and Sunday for now... at least thats when my schedule is more open.  And go from there.

This past weekend was super busy.  I didn't even have major plans, things just happened.  Friday, I managed to get my back adjusted and a massage done.  I love 80-minute deep tissue massages --- so awesome.  Then I picked up the girl scout cookies for my daughter's troop --- sales begin tomorrow for that.  Then Saturday I took my daughter out... for a Mom & Daughter day.  It was really nice, we got pedicures, went to eat and saw a movie --- even a little shopping.

On Sunday, the whole family went to the Shrine Circus.  What is really funny is it was the first time my husband has ever been to a circus.  His facial expressions were priceless.  He was like a giant kid watching that stuff.  Natalya and Brayden were able to ride on an elephant too.  I thought that was cool.  They put on an awesome show and I'm glad my family was able to spend time together doing that.

Then after getting home, I find out my computer died... something with the hard drive.  Talk about screwing me over for doing my class assignments.  I took it in yesterday, luckily they were able to get it working again without replacing the hard drive yet... but I know its coming.  So yeah, that is what is going on recently.  :)

Gym Indecisiveness

Alright, so this is kind of piggy-backing on Rhonda's post about finding a gym, it just so happen that she posted on it right when I was researching on Google, while at work... for local gyms.  I've been in this mode where I know I need to get exercise in and I think a gym membership is the way to go, mainly because I want to attend classes for Yoga and Zumba.  And if I want to jump on the treadmill or elliptical I can.

But I've been super indecisive when it comes to actually joining a gym... mainly for the following reasons:

1. In the past, I'd join and NEVER GO! Wasting money. :(
2. Because of #1, I'm afraid of getting sucked into a 1-2 year contract and to be honest I'm working on my credit right now (want to buy a house in my future).
3. I hate sales people! I hate the over-aggressive sales tactics and I don't want to be put in a weird position if I'm only inquiring.
4. If I join a place... I want it to be month to month, so if some financial emergency does come up, I can cancel with 30 days notice.
5. It needs to be nearby... or I will not use it. (I admit, kind of lazy here with effort)
6. If I need daycare, its there and offered in the price.
7. And I think I want to hire a personal trainer to learn proper form & get motivation (mostly keep me accountable).

I'm sure there are more reasons in my head, swirling around.  So I definitely am not joining Gold's Gym (went on a 7 day free pass with a friend once), I don't like the environment... felt so judged for being the fat person working out and it seemed like a club for people to hook up or something.  Add in the staff, kind of sucked plus I read a ton of Yelp reviews about their contract stuff.  I was considering Anytime Fitness, but no real daycare - its a small gym.  Then I was considering CrossFit, but after doing my personal wellness class last fall and seeing my friend hurt from it, I'm like... NOPE, not for a beginner like me.  But because of that same class, it has made me seriously consider doing Yoga and Zumba, thus the reason I want a place that offers classes within the price.

So after a lot of thinking and some slight talking with my husband... because lets be real, I run things... lol.  It has been decided to join the YMCA as a family.  It costs $75 a month for 2 Adults and children (unlimited to a certain degree).  They offer various classes there and all this month they are waiving that "join" fee, which is $100 for our family size.  Plus, there are some other benefits... but I think this is a good fit not only for myself personally... but my husband and the kiddos.  

By the way... don't tell anyone... my husband had his VSG surgery 12/2/2014, he's down from 319 lbs. to 264 lbs.  Amazing!  And its time for both of us to get active.  Its a family effort.

Here's to good friends!

I've been thinking about things I want to work on and change this year... not so much weight related, but more so with my life in general.  My main focus this year is to re-connect with my close friends and really put an effort in seeing them.

Shamiya and I.

I realized after attending one of my good friends birthday dinner, December 30th... that we had not seen each other in probably 2 years.  Mind you... we do live in the Austin Area, however she lives in a little ol' town outside of Austin, more southwest and I live way opposite.  So its about an hour a drive.  But that shouldn't be an excuse.  I realized that was not good and I'm missing out on what is happening with her.

So it made me decide that I will schedule in time with friends, otherwise... it will not happen.  And I will make it happen --- unless they have something come up.  That is my goal this year... reconnect with old friends, make new friends and just keep building on all of my relationships.  Even with family.

Which lead me to being able to meet up with two of my other close friends.  We used to all work together back in 2003 - 2004.  So I asked them why not meet up and hang out!  We went to Chuy's Mexican restaurant and I ordered the Southwestern plate... which is chicken enchiladas with a fried over medium egg on it.  I ate like 4 bites, but it was gooodddd!  It was nice finally seeing their faces in person and catching up on whats happening in each other's life.  I know Facebook was meant to connect us, but I feel like it keeps people a part more than bringing them together.  Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy being on Facebook but its definitely not the same as spending time with good friends or family.

Christina, Me and Laura.

Last year, my focus was on me and doing things for myself like going back to school and doing some traveling... and while that is still something I am working on, I also want to work on making a better effort of having all my relationships in a great place.  I enjoy being around good company.

This also brings up how badly I want to move into a house (we live in a  four bedroom apartment).  I really want to be able to throw gatherings and spend time with my family and friends.  I enjoy throwing parties and decorating.  Its just hard to do in an apartment... so that is another factor.

I do admit that I've kind of pushed my other friendships over with building my friendship with my best friend Crystal.  And life has gotten in the way a lot.  Hopefully, with my own effort --- my other friends will step up too.

Just some thoughts I've had recently...

Another stall in weight loss and sad face

Alright, so I really didn't feel like talking about it..... the 2nd Stall in this journey.  Which means, I know I'll have more stalls to come but still, its frustrating and almost scary for me when I stop losing.  Why because I'm afraid of failure and also because I'm afraid that will be it.  I have to remind myself to just keep pushing forward and keep doing well.

I haven't lost anything and I'm bouncing between 198.2 and 200.8 lbs since hitting Onderland back on 1/2/2015.  I don't know what is happening.

Another weird thing is, I just had my period at the end of December and I'm already going through the PMS symptoms now to start again any day now.  My cycle is thrown off, this is NEW... I've never had this happen before because I'm regular every 33 days.  So that could be part of the issue why I haven't lost anything in two weeks... retaining water.

This past week, I did really well with getting my protein up to 70 grams or above.  I am also getting my water in.  I'm also getting my vitamins in, finished off my gummy vitamins... so now its time to try the Celebrate brand again and hopefully they will not make me puke.  I will save that for this evening, while at home.  I did look over my MyFitnessPal account to see if there is something off, I really never paid mind to Carb intake and the way my surgeon talked... they really never brought it up.  Some days were 80 and others went over 100.  I wonder if I need to try and keep it down below 50.  Maybe that will help.  And since my calories are finally hitting over 1000, its definitely time to get more active.

Thats my one thing... finding the energy and time.  I go to class two times a week for 4 hours each class.  Add in studying and doing homework, as well as taking care of these dang kids.  Okay... STOP with the excuses Amanda.  I need to make it priority, even if its only 3 times a week initially.  At least I'm doing something, right?  I have to start some time... will do something tonight, no more of the getting home and being like... I'm tired.  Lol.

In other news... plans are coming into order to go to New Orleans for Mardi Gras.  Kind of excited for that.

Onderland, Fat Brain... etc.

Not sure where I've been lately... I've been in a weird funk.  I enjoy the fact that the holidays are over but want more time off from work (really don't like my job much).  And I've felt really lazy and tired lately.  Like sleeping in until noon type of stuff.  Not sure what that is about.  I really don't feel like leaving the house unless its for work... and well school starting back up this week (for myself, the kids go back this week too).

Alright, so weigh-in for this past Friday... is...

I actually hit Onderland last Sunday... I am scale obsessed.  And between Sunday and Friday, lost 0.2? Yeah... its all good because I admit, I feel like I'm lacking.  I need to get my protein intake up and my water.  Its just so hard, even at 2 months out now.  I don't know how to fit all of these fluids and foods in.  And when I drink water, I'm gulping... even though they say sip.  It feels impossible to get it all in on top of trying to force myself to eat because most of the time, I'm not hungry.

Oh, add in... Fat brain came in and said lets have some Blue Belle Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream (that's the one food I have a hard time letting go of).  I had a small amount, but the fat girl in me was like... I can have more.  Oh, I hate a second helping of the first amount... and that sent my pouch over the edge ---- as in, made me SUPER nauseous.  I felt so sick afterward, I had to go to bed --- definitely that dumping feeling, I really thought I was going to throw up.  No more, since I can't control myself with ice cream and it is technically not healthy.

Other than that... the goal is to get to 185 lbs. by early February.  Its time to get in gear and lose 13 more pounds by then.  I can do this!  But I have to get my proteins and water... oh the struggle.

In other news... start classes this week for Intro to Psych and American Government... yay for Spring semester.  And in the next couple of weeks... back to doing the Girl Scout cookie thing again,
>>> Cookie Mom here <<<

Alright laters.

SIDE NOTE:  I try to update my stats page as I post... which seems to be weekly with the weigh-in's.  I'm happy to say... I've lost more inches in the upper body this past month.  Nice!