So I've had about (blank) number of stalls since surgery with regard to losing this weight. And when going through these stalls, I realize I get really down and negative. I don't tell others often how I feel, especially when its negative. I just smile... and say a positive thing and keeping pushing. But I realize that is also not good because then I'm not being accountable for some of my own decisions.
Weighed in last Sunday... I also have random weigh-ins lately. If I don't like the number on the scale, I'm like... weigh tomorrow.
Just works for me. Lol. So I weighed and I'm at 178.4 lbs. But you know how the scale goes... up and down a few depending on the time of the day. I am a scale whore... I hate it but I can't help it. Its so addicting.
So with that... I chose to go back over my numbers and see where I was 6 months ago, considering I am 6 months out from my surgery and I got to have my 6 month check up with my surgeon.
In total... I have lost 64 lbs. since re-starting my weight loss journey and the process of getting surgery back in September 2014. Since surgery, I have lost 46 lbs. My doctor said I've lost about 55% of my weight. Its good considering I'm a revision. However, if it was my first surgery, he would have wanted me to lose about 20 lbs more (so 84 lbs.) at the 6 month mark. I wish I would have too. Lol. The good news is I have lost consistently. He feels overall, I'm doing well. However, I seem to be harder on myself than he is. I chose to have my metabolism tested... since it seems I only lose if I'm eating less than 700 calories a day --- that was my theory. However my metabolism is normal. But the doctor agrees, if I really want to get to my ultimate goal of 157 lbs (which he set for me originally) then I need to really get out there and exercise but also drop my calories to 700 a day for about 5 days, then up them to no higher than 1100 for 3 days and start it all over again. I go back to see him in mid-July. I really want to be down to that 157 lbs. or lower --- not for him, but me. Thats about 21 lbs. I think its possible, I just have to get back to basics and truly exercise --- but making time for it is where I'm running into the problem. I'm tired always --- and exercising doesn't help me. Lol. But I know my body is craving it. Focus is what I need.
So I can do this! But again... looking back, I realized I have gone from a size 22 in jeans to a size 14. I have gone from a size 2xl in shirts to a large. I even realized I have gone from a ring size of 8 to a size 6. I feel better overall, I'm sure I'd be more tired if I was carrying all that weight around on me. But looking at the numbers and doing that in 8 months of time... losing weight and changing some habits... because I have changed a lot of eating habits - but I do have cheats. Lol. I am proud of me.
I'm realizing... even with the stalls, my body is still putting in work and changing --- especially with how things fit. These are things I've told others, but I need reminders too. People tell me... your shrinking all the time... but my mind is not keeping up with it. Some days I feel it and others I'm like... OMG, your so fat. Ugh. I hate how my brain is wired when it comes to my self image at times. Loving yourself is hard work.