Non-commenting, NSV's, Drake Dream, etc.

Sorry for being a bad fellow cheerleader to all those in the weight loss fight.  I've been busy working and haven't really felt like getting on the internet much lately.  Also dealing with things personally and kind of felt like I don't have much to say.  Maybe a little blah lately, who knows.  So I apologize to folks I follow and not commenting much.  I am going to try to get back involved again and comment more.  PROMISE!

Now onto some NSV's for me...

• Had to finally buy new bra's, down from a 40D to a 38D (and man, it makes me look like I lost a ton of weight, haha.  At least I feel like it does and feels good to have better support).  I was debating if I should go with a 38 or 36.
• Also got new undies, went from a size 10 (that were seriously baggy, Hubby told me to get new ones) and I'm in a size 9 comfortably, have some old size 8's I can squeeze in... :)
• Work pants are also very loose in the leg/butt region and noticed some gap in the waist.  I think I'm close to a size 16.



Ahhhh...I <3 Drake!



Next, last night I had this dream about me and my friend going to see Drake in concert.  We haven't bought the tickets yet (sold out here) and I really want to go.  So I wanted to wait to see if the price would drop on Stubhub... well in the dream, that was what we were doing.  I figured as it got closer to the show we would get better seats at a lower price.  Then they were no longer selling the tickets and we couldn't go to the show.  But we did see that Nelly was coming (not sure where Nelly fit into this, haha).  I felt so bad... for letting my friend down.  LOL.  We went home... and some other friends were there, who went to the concert.  Just disappointing and then Drake showed up!  I was like a groupie.  LOL.  Then I woke up. 

Either way, I'm hoping we can go see Drake in real life.... just don't want to pay 150.00 or more on a damn ticket far away.  I hope I don't screw us over on good seats to get a lower price.... waiting it out.  Uggghhh.

In other news... back to taking my vitamins again, I had stopped because I ran out and was low on funds.  But got my adult gummy vitamins, viactiv for calcium and vitamin D and B12.  Lets see how it makes me feel.  Also gonna work on drinking all my water this week.  I realized I haven't been drinking much at all the last few days.  Like no urge.  Not good.

Alright... thats my randoms.  Laters.

Weigh In for 1.29.12

Alright so for the past week, I probably got a "C" for participating somewhat.  Lets see, I know for a fact, I didn't get all of my water in each day of at least 72 ounces.  I did stay under calorie goal but that was mainly because I wasn't eating breakfast.  Which then resulted in me making bad food choices, like eating fast food.  And even then, I know on Friday I over ate cause I got that pain in my side.  I haven't done that in a long time.  We ate chinese.

So here's my weigh in for the week:

Weigh-In:  208.4

So thats a loss of 1.4 pounds.  I do also admit I did more walking at work.  At least 3 times this past week.  I didn't go walking after work.  I wish I would have.   I have been using my pedometer and keeping tracking of my steps.  I guess its "baby steps".  Plan this week is to get my protein powder to do my shake in the mornings again so I have some sort of breakfast and hopefully that will curb the bad food choices.  

More updates later...

Weigh In for 1.22.12, I'm a Winner!

Alright so last week was not a great week in the food department.  I openly admit that I went over my calorie intake about 3 times last week, nothing totally horrific but still.  It was the cookies dammit.  I love sweets and for some reason my body wanted it too.  Or head hunger.  Also TOM came and visited too.  Definitely a hard battle that I lost.  These are the same days I had a hard time getting at least 72 oz of water in too.  Now onto weigh in for this week.

Weigh-In:  209.8

That means I'm down 0.4 pounds since the last weigh in.  Not 1 pound like I was aiming for but a loss is a loss, right?  The good thing going for me was that I did actually start moving aka exercising.  I was walking on my breaks at work and I did walk hard core one day last week.  Which in turn left my legs so sore.  Didn't know that was possible.  I also did some overtime at work.  So overall, I did have some set backs but I did make some moves forward with the exercising part of this journey.

In other news, I am a WINNER!  I joined the Jillian Michael's giveaway on FatSoSarah's blog.  And I won!  So awesome... and I'm so excited.  I've been wanting the 30 day shred video (and still plan to buy that one) but was waiting until we moved down to a downstairs apartment (since I have butthole neighbors).  And I won... I haven't won anything like this in I couldn't tell you.  I'm so excited because I really want to do this.  Especially purchase a kettleball for my arms.  LOL. 

Also, we're moving down to a 4 bedroom 2 bath apartment on February 10th.... on the bottom floor.  My apartment manager came to our door Friday night to let us know we got this apartment and its all wood floors!  That means all the kiddos will have their own bedrooms and more space and we can walk as hard as we want.  And I can exercise at home if I want.  And especially use my new workout DVD's. 

So excited!  And definitely feeling very blessed.

*** Oh yeah, someone left an anonymous comment... saying they liked my blog, etc.  I just wanted to say thank you for visiting.  I don't know who it was... :(

Bad day yesterday, but back on track today

So yesterday was my job's monthly potluck for the January birthday's.  I was in charge of coordinating things.  That included buying food for the event when people gave me money.  I did that.  I even kept the food hidden away in my house for about 5 days with no one touching it.  Then yesterday, I ate the crap at the luncheon...... mainly about 10 cookies.  Why?  I don't know why.  I ate like half of that, knowing I messed up.  On top of not walking at all yesterday.  Then figured once I got home... well keep going since I messed up already.  Ohhhhh the fat girl mentality. 

Yeah..... lets just say, went well over my calories for the day.  And I only got in 6 cups of water.  With no exercise.  NOT GOOD for yesterday. 

Its all good, because this morning.... back to the usual.  Have my lunch prepared, my protein shake and will do my walking on my breaks and this evening when I get home.

Guess who exercised yesterday?

Yep... thats right, ME!  I walked yesterday at work on my afternoon break.  And then I went to my apartments gym and walked for 40 minutes, then walked some more with my son and the dog...so I could get over 10,000 steps on my pedometer.  I feel so good today.  Even more chipper.

TOM is around the corner, ready to pay a visit.  Wish he would just hurry up and come and go... lol.  Other than that... plan on walking for my morning break this time, as well as my afternoon break.  And I don't want to push myself too hard... but I'm afraid if I don't keep going with at least walking... I'll fall back into laziness.  So I'll go walking again tonight.

And yesterday was a good day.... stayed well under calories, got my water in and NO SNACKING.  What? Yes. 

A good day.

I also realized, I have not put on my work out clothes since September.  Actually getting myself dressed for it, helped.  Will do this again this evening.

Weigh In for 1.15.12

Alright so last week was wayyy better for me on the food front and water intake.  So-so on the exercise.  But overall, I can give myself a grade of a C.  Mainly because I could have put more effort into the exercise thing since I said I would do at least 30 minutes of walking, 3 times a week.  I definitely procrastinated... but I'm having some issues as before with getting going.  I really need to resolve this issue asap!

Weigh-In:  210.2

So that brings me down 1.4, not bad.  Basically what I was looking for this past week.  So lets see what goals were met and not met.

• Stay under calorie goal every day - DONE (I did have one day I went over sodium big time)
• Get at least 72 ounces of water in each day - DONE 
• Do 30 minutes of walking, 3 times this week - FAIL
• Lose at least 1.5 pounds - DONE (I just used the number off MyfitnessPal but since my scale is done on "even"s, I say I accomplished this one)

 So not bad... although I didn't walk "walk", I did get some major cleaning done around the house.  I feel good about this since it was much needed and I did work up some sweat.  One of my changes this year is helping out more around the house ---- I admit, since I work so much I've let the cleaning thing go and relied a lot on my husband.  So I'm putting forth the effort to pitch in more.  As for the walking, I know I procrastinated to the point that I didn't get it done.  I felt motivated somewhat to do it, then once home... and sitting down, its like my butt was clued to where I was at.  I just didn't want to go out in the cold, or go down to the apartments gym, or even where my work out clothes because my legs were hairy.  Yes... lots of nice excuses.  Amazing how we talk ourselves out of things we don't want to do.  LOL.  

In other news, I got my FitBug pedometer.  I can use this with that new wellness program at work and get points for doing 10,000 steps or more a day.  I figure, I can do some walking on my breaks... indoors.  Our building is huge.  I think this will push me... since I still want that damn Polar HRM.  In my mind --- I believe if I have this thing, it will drive me to want to work out more... since I'll see actual numbers that reflect what I'm doing.  Crazy thinking.... who knows.  Lol.  So I will be using it this week. 

Anywho... gotta get going and ready for work this week.  

Goals for this week ---- same as above and lose at least 1.0 lbs come weigh-in. 

Fat So Sarah Giveaway

So... I seen this on my other friend Sarah's blog... and thought I'd join in because of course I could use some kind of work out stuff like this.  Sorry Sarah.... lol.

Just started following and will still follow even if I don't win.  LOL.

So check out her blog... and I figure since I don't have many followers... its more beneficial at this point.  Hahaha...

http://fatsosarah.blogspot.com/

Almost started walking...

So I haven't done any walking yet this week... but I really felt the urge to do it yesterday (which is good for me and my need to get going).  So today I plan on going to the gym in our apartments and hitting up the treadmill (possibly the ellipitcal if I'm feeling good after 30 minutes of walking). 

I do admit... I ordered the Fitbug (which is a pedometer) through my job and this new wellness program.  I have kind of been waiting for it to come but I want to get this walking going.  Especially because I was invited to do a 5k with a local running club out in Georgetown.  They do these 5k's every third Saturday a month and its only $1, which goes to help pay for costs at the park they do this at.  Plus the kids are free, so I figure I can take my two oldest kiddos with me to enjoy some walking/running.  The next one coming up is on the 21st.  I think I'm going....... help me prepare for another 5k.

The BOOB's ladies in the Dallas area plan to attend the Color Run.  I really want to do this one too... and plan to pay for my fee this coming weekend, so I will be there.  This same 5k is being done in Austin on February 4th as well, but thats just too close of a date... I need more time to prepare with just starting out.  LOL.  Plus I figured it would be more fun with other friends.  So I will be attending the one in Dallas.  Can't wait.....

Never thought that I may enjoy running or even do a 5k, but its a possibility.  Lets see how this goes...

Inner Struggles

I've made goals to accomplish for my weight, but there are other things I want to accomplish and make changes with as well.  I've always said that I'm a work in progress.  The problem has been, I have not been actively participating in making changes to be "in progress".  I'm tired of it.  I'm now 31 years old and I feel like I'm in the same spot I was in 5 years ago.  Still struggling when it comes to weight, to my relationships, my love/self worth for myself, finances, spiritually, etc.  I want to be a better person overrall.  And I sit and compare myself to others (for some reason) when instead I need to look deep down within me and make the changes to be in a better position for myself.  To be happy in general.

Basically....... I am my own worse enemy.  I have been standing in my own way for so long out of FEAR.  Fear of what?  Fear of failure I suppose.  I have to stop this mentality... I know we all have fear, thats fine.  But I need to embrace those fears and overcome them, no matter if its a positive or negative outcome.  Because eventually this is what leads to success in any goal.

So outside of the weight loss goals...  I realized there are some goals I need to set up for myself this year for inner peace.

I will think this over this coming week... and post on my "Goal Page".

Starting Brand New, Weigh-In for 01.08.12

After lots of thinking and consideration in the past week, I've decided to press re-start on this game of weight loss.  Starting anew I think will help me get back in the game and not focus so much on the previous failure.  I really want to focus and commit to this thing... I've even set up some goals and will make a Goal page (kind of like my weight loss page).  I've taken my measurements for today as well and weighed myself.  I also plan to take photos of each weigh-in no matter what the result.  I have to stay accountable.  So now onto weigh-in for today.

Weigh-In:  211.6

Yep, I'm up.  I have to admit this past week was hard on me... I've been eating lunch in our work-cafeteria.  I have no idea what they use, but I'm pretty sure its a lot of pre-packaged, high processed food.  Definitely high in sodium and definitely NOT good for anyone trying to keep their weight down or really lose weight in general.  I still have a week of lunches on my card that I bought, but I can always get a salad since they have a salad bar to use and bring some grilled chicken and hard boiled eggs to help with the protein.  I did manage to get in quite a bit of water, so I'm proud of that and knowing that I drank 18 cups (144 oz) of water in a day for 2 days in a row, lets me know I can do it every day.  I've also been drinking a protein shake each morning for breakfast and will continue to do that.

So I restarted my ticker for weight loss on MyFitnessPal to ZERO.  I even re-opened my diary because it helps me accountable.  No more hiding the stuff I do (I did that for about 3 weeks).  Log every single thing I put in my mouth (minus vitamins).  Starting weight being that number above.  Here are my measurements as of today as well:


Neck - 14 1/4 inches

Arms - 15 1/2 (right) | 15 1/4 (left)
Chest - 39 1/4 inches
Waist - 38 inches
Hips - 50 1/2 inches
Thighs - 27 1/2 inches
Calves - 16 1/2 inches

This Coming Week's Goals ----- Stay under calorie goal every day.  Get in at last 72 ounces of water, but aim for up to 144 ounces.  Do 3 days of exercise at 30 minutes each (walking is what I will start with this week). And come next weigh in day, lose at least 1.5 pounds.


Ultimate Goal come a month from now, which is 2/12/2012 - Lose 7.5 pounds, that means be at 204.4 as of this date.  I feel this is attainable.  I would also like to see some inches lost at this point as well.

I will do this!

Blah Blah Blahhhhh...

So after some days of feeling down... I think I've realized that the reason I'm feeling this stressed feeling is because I want to change so many things about me, the things I do day to day... not just healthwise, but my relationships.  Add in the aftermath of Christmas... and dealing with birthdays, lots of money going out of the bank and not enough coming in to cover all of it.  Yes!  I was freaking.  And yes, I was handling all of my stress with food. 

I do have to say... this is my first real attempt of being an active participant in losing weight.  And during this time I've been dealing with all the guilty feelings I have toward food now.  Prior to this.... straight denial.  I hate feeling like this regarding food, probably why I was in denial and why my clothes got smaller. 

I've also sort of realized I have no real goals, nothing truly keeping me accountable besides the scale and well I have to get things together.  Especially if I want to really fulfill the word of COMMIT I chose for this year.

A good thing that started at the New Year was that my company is now doing this Vitality Program.  Basically... it motivates you to be healthy... and live healthy with points that you can cash in on.  Right now, I really REALLY want this POLAR Heart Rate Monitor.  This thing costs over $100.00.  Thats a lot for me, but I know I need accurate numbers to stay accountable when it comes to calories burned, etc.  This is the thing I've been aching for and almost got... but put it back while at Academy the other night.  Then I sign up for this program through my job... and if I get to Platinum status with my points (which is 10,000) I can use those to get it!  Great idea to me... and if anything, true motivation.  So far with doing some online courses and educating myself on things more... I've earned 1325 points.  I think this is possible.  And you get points for exercise, or checking out/joining a gym, etc.  Even submitting preventative services to them.  And they have even more goodies on there to get. 

I think it boils down to me needing goals, small ones... and rewards.  So far... I have 90 days with the Vitality program to lose 13 pounds.  Definitely acheivable.  I'm going to think long and hard this weekend on these goals/rewards.... for the big long term goal.

Now back to my blah state of mind........ :) 

The truth is...

I'm not sure where my head is right now.  I guess I can say I'm totally off track on the whole weight loss thing.  And I'm having a hard time getting back on it.  Where's the drive, where's the motivation?  I really want to do this thing and get healthy... but I'm almost content with things.  Why?  I'm not sure.

Its like I don't want to deal with this right now.  Example >>> lack of not blogging as much.

The only good thing happening at this point is I'm still tracking my food.  I haven't gave that up.  Its the water intake (that I'm lacking more lately) and the total lack of exercise.  I know if I exercise, it will help this process even more.  I know what I'm suppose to be doing...... I know this, but why can't I just do it!

Ugggh... I hate this feeling.

Truth is... I'm stressed.  I can feel it finally catching up to me.  You would think it would cause the opposite but I'm noticing I am more snacky lately because of it.  I'm stuffing my stomach... knowing damn well, I'm not even hungry.  I'm arguing in my head....... and then I hit "f%*k it" mode.  Then I feel the guilt of it later.

This sucks.

Happy New Year, Weigh In, etc, etc...

First off I wanna...

Please don't be offended by the middle finger for the 1. LOL.

Now that thats out of the way.  We had a good New Year's Eve... spent it at home with the kiddos.  Fixed the kids some Pigs in a Blanket, chips and dip and the hubby hooked us up with some Garlic and Honey BBQ Wings.  Delicious!  The kids drank some sparking Red Grape juice and the hubby had his Big Peach soda with his Peach Ciroc.  No drinks for me, not much of a drinker.  I actually bought me these Strawberry Daquiri drinks from Walmart but didn't drink it.  And a couple of photos for your viewing pleasure....

My niece... ready for 2012.

Boogy was partying too.

Snuk and Naty... ringing it in.

As for weigh-in today... I weighed in at 209.4.  Which means I'm up by 1 pound.  Its all good because holidays are gone and its time to really focus and get thangs in gear (FOR REAL!) Oh how the scale is the devil, do you know when I first stepped on it this morning... it said 198.4.  Seriously.  I knew it was wrong.  Re-stepped and it was saying 198.8.  I knew that was impossible because to be honest, although I didn't eat horribly this past week... I knew I haven't been exercising or really focusing on what I've been eating.  However, I have got in some walking time since the new dog has come to live with us.  I actually enjoyed it.

After much thought and consideration, I do have a food scale... so I will be focusing more on weighing out my food portions.  I do think it will be in my best interest to successfully lose more weight to start preparing my lunches/dinners for the entire week... on Sunday's.  So I'm going to work on that tomorrow (since I'm off from work).  I also realize for me to get exercise time in... I will have to do it once I get home from work or else I won't do it.  Totally cut out the snacking as well.

In other great news... the Saints will be playing the Lions next Saturday in the first round of Play Off's.  I was so hoping for them to get 2nd seed but the 49er's pulled through.  Oh wells.  I'm so ready for another Super Bowl with them in it!  And the whole team has been doing so great this year.  Yes, I openly admit... I am a football fan!

Also we got the dog a new crate... its pretty nice and very spacious.  Found it on Craigslist for $70.00 and it typically goes brand new for $300.00.  I ended up having to leave Boogy for about 2-3 hours on Saturday... when we initially left, he was whining and started doing his deep bark.  But then I came back in and gave him a snack to focus on when we left.  I'm not sure if afterward he was barking or anything (hope not, due to our neighbors below).  But when we returned (because all I could think of while gone was that he was howling the entire time we were gone) he was actually quiet and asleep.  I hope this works while we're all at work/school this coming week.  Haha.  Oh and another good thing is him and Romeo (our big boy cat) are getting better around each other.... check out the pics today.

Romeo checkin Boogy out...

He was trying to share with Romeo.

He apparently thought this was a dog bed.  Lol.

Thats about it for me today......