Saturday, June 13, 2009

Young & Old Mama's

So these thoughts have been brewing on my mind since I read a journal on BBC last week or a couple of days ago. One of them, lol. Mainly because I posted my 2cents regarding the subject of being a young mother and maturity. And of course the original poster missed my point. I'm sorry, I'm not one that jumps on peoples bandwagons. I try to give another perspective so you have better understanding and well........that shit just plain annoys me, why be on the defense? Considering I never said it was aimed at you, if the shoe don't fit then don't try to be on the defense to me. What makes you think you have to explain to me? A stranger of all things? Especially if your completely fine and confident in your decision of marrying young and baring children young.

So here's my thoughts...I am a young mom. I had my first son at the age of 19, so I know how hard it is dealing with people looking at you crazy when you have a lil' one with you and they find out its your baby. Or having people ask you questions on what happened? I don't regret my son at all because I wouldn't be who I am today if he wasn't here. I love him with all my heart. But I do know 10 years later, I wish I would have waited....and that would be no matter if I was married to someone or single.

My thoughts frustrates me so much to watch all these other young ladies condoning teens or young women in that same age group to have children. I don't get it, why do these people want to grow up so fast? Its not that great, being an adult comes with a lot...on top of raising children. And the worst part, most of these people bringing babies into this world are dependent on their own family or the government. Their not truly raising that child on their own because their not financially stable. Now...I agree, no time is the right decide to have a baby, because finances can easily come and go (if your not rich). But then you got all the same age group cosigning on this girl's blog....and thats all she wants to hear, is the good comments. Ones that agree with what she wants to hear so she can feel better about her decision. Please........that ain't helping you, thats just reinforcing that immature mentality of what someone told you about.

But I just think...damn, why be on the defense because an older mom is trying to give you another perspective. And the first thing they say, well I know plenty of 30-40 somethings that are way more immature than I am. Greatttt! Now do you want a gold star for that shit? Here's the breakdown, yes age don't mean maturity but then again....age should bring some kind of learning experiences while growing into yourself. I seen it growing up...and still see it today, the problem with young ladies is they think they got it ALLLL figured out. No ain't even touched a lil' bit of the world. And in fact, those women that are much older and still immature...those women are the ones that never learned from those life lessons, the ones that still act like these young kids because they think they got it all figured out as well. Thinking, pssshh, I'm grown...I don't need to hear shit from nobody, I been through this and that. Still on that lil' kid shit. Ha! Well then why are they the same ones fuckin' it up over and over again?

Now for the ones that are willing to learn from others thoughts, advice...thats where you differ. Ones that are not so quick to be defensive....and see the other side for a moment, to take a lil' from that and apply it to themselves. Those are the ones that are maturer. But if you keep on that mentality of well, I made this decision...I know what I want, I know I won't ever feel any different than from this moment (never say never). Well since you got it all figured out now, I can only imagine how well you'll have it figured out 10 years from now....just like those 30 and 40 something mom's your talking about today. Remember a lil' criticism don't hurt nobody, we all have room for improvement.

Now which one are you trying to be? Figure it out...

1 comment:

Shay said...

I consider myself to be a young mom. Had Ariana at 23. I see these younger girls, 17-18 and I can't imagine having Ariana at that age. There would have been no way I would have been ready finacially, or emotionally. Hell, even at 23 with a job and being finacially ready, I wasn't emotionally ready. So for the ones who do it, and come out just fine, I have respect for them.

Talking to some of these "women" is like talking to a brick wall. All you tryin to do is give them a little advice, based on personal experience and they don't want to hear it. Lord forbid they take some constructive criticism from someone who's been there, done that. They'd rather listen to people condoning their behavior than face the truth. So, let them be "grown ups" and figure it out the hard way. You can't make them take the helping hand thats being offered.