Moving in the right direction

The good news is... my scale is continuing to move down while I'm sitting in the 190's.  I'm sure it could move a little faster since I haven't started exercising officially yet.  But the fact that its moving, is all that I'm happy with.  This past week has been off for me.  I know it may sound weird but I seem to be more on track with following my dietary and nutrition rules while at work... when I'm home, I just fall off and don't think of things.  I missed work last Monday and Tuesday because my youngest had a stomach bug.

Another thing... I decided I wanted something else to drink other than water... I can't do the Crystal Light or Mio right now.  I think I grossed myself out after having it for so long in the beginning.  So I've been having at least one Gatorade... I wanted fruit punch and they didn't have it in G2, so I have the regular one... but when I drink it, if I drink a lot at once... it makes me feel nauseous.  Most likely the damn sugars.  I know that is a good thing, crazy how the sugar makes me feel so yucky.

As for weigh-in... I hit 193.8 today.  That is 1.4 lbs. down for the week.  And I'm okay with it, as long as the scale is moving down.  It's so strange how this weight loss thing works, I was bouncing between 200 and 198 for like 2 and a half weeks... then I start losing again.  I go for my follow-up with my surgeon next Friday, which will also make me officially 3 months out from the revision surgery.

That means, so far I have lost 48.2 lbs. total from my highest weight in August and starting the new process for surgery.  I've lost 31 lbs. since surgery itself.  At my highest weight... I was wearing a size 20, that was pretty tight (so probably 22)... and 2xl shirts.  One major NSV this week is moving down to a size 16 petites in pants for work.  I bought some size 16 jeans but I'm waiting until I lose a little more because I have a little muffin top and don't feel comfy wearing that yet... if I pull them up... MAJOR cameltoe and if I pull them down, some muffin top.  I think they are low-rise skinny jeans.  Lol.  But I know I'm at least  5-10 lbs. away from them looking really good --- in my eyes.  In shirts... I'm wearing an XL. I definitely need to go get re-sized for bras... the cups are like lifting up.  My boobs are shriveling up.  :(  But then again... I'm fine with that... I really don't like having big ol' boobs, but I'm afraid of them looking like flat pancakes or something.  Which is how my ass is starting to look.  Main reason I need to exercise and do squats... I like having some junk in my trunk...

So although, I'm not going to be at 185 lbs. when I walk into my surgeons office next week... I'm okay with it.  I feel like I've already accomplished a lot in the past 3 months.  I have decided that since my two classes I'm taking right now, end next week.... I will not only starting working out and making use of the money I'm spending on a membership but I am going to get with a personal trainer there, I know I need that to keep me accountable and stay on plan.

I am feeling better mentally... I swear this weight loss journey messes with your mind so much.

Busy as can be... and weigh-in.

Alright, so I finally got my gym membership with the YMCA last Friday.  Have I gone yet... NO!  Why not you may wonder?  Well... no real reason other than I have been stuck at my house dealing with Girl Scout cookie stuff.  I am the cookie mom for my daughter's troop.  What does that mean... I hold all of the troops cookie inventory, I setup the booths (where you see the girls at Walgreen's harassing you) and somehow end up stuck at the house until the booths end.  This type of volunteering is good and bad.  It is good because I can stay home and work on my school work, I am taking two classes right now, but then its bad because I can't do much of anything else.

Good thing is my classes end the first week of February and that will open up my evenings again, especially the two nights a week I have to attend.  It is a hard balancing act trying to get school work completed, doing things for the kids and keeping my house clean (even with the kids doing chores), along with finding the time for me... which includes exercising.  But... getting the membership was the first step, so I'll take that as a win.

In other news... weighed in on Saturday.  Seems I weigh in either on Saturday or Friday.  I may stick with Saturdays.  Lol.  I have totally stopped eating Lean Cuisines and have to say that since I stopped my weight has started to drop again.  Coincidence? I dunno... but I also started my period a whole week earlier than I was supposed to.  This weight loss thing has totally thrown my cycles off.

I know I'm doing well with my calorie intake, in fact I've dropped it low again.  So its probably me tricking my body... from eating 1000-1100 calories.  I'll jump back up in the next week and then drop again.  Protein intake is good, working on introducing veggies and fruits more.  Water intake is definitely getting better but I've been drinking some Gatorade G2 lately, kind of over plain water and I got sick of the Crystal Light and Mio stuff.  Vitamins are going good... I ended up buying more of the gummy ones, too scared to go back to the bariatric ones right now.  And I'm still having to take my Prilosec, I've been having funny acid issues since week 4 post-op.  Just gurgling and acid coming up my throat, no actual burning.  It also makes me feel like I'm hungry when I know I'm not.

So thats about it for now...

Busy Weekend

Weigh-in day came in and I have broke the 2 or 3 week stall... by only losing 1 lb.  Boooo!

I guess 1 lb. is better than nothing.  I am hoping to have a better week.  I've been doing pretty good with getting protein in and upping my calories.  I decided to drop the calorie intake some for a few days to see if that helps.  Still trying to focus on getting the water in.  Its so hard to get water in, why?  I guess my goal of getting to 185 lbs. by February 6th is out of the running.  Lol.

So although my decision has been made on using YMCA for a gym, I haven't had a chance to get over there and actually sign up.  This week for sure, on Friday.  I am thinking that I may start out working out on Friday, Saturday and Sunday for now... at least thats when my schedule is more open.  And go from there.

This past weekend was super busy.  I didn't even have major plans, things just happened.  Friday, I managed to get my back adjusted and a massage done.  I love 80-minute deep tissue massages --- so awesome.  Then I picked up the girl scout cookies for my daughter's troop --- sales begin tomorrow for that.  Then Saturday I took my daughter out... for a Mom & Daughter day.  It was really nice, we got pedicures, went to eat and saw a movie --- even a little shopping.

On Sunday, the whole family went to the Shrine Circus.  What is really funny is it was the first time my husband has ever been to a circus.  His facial expressions were priceless.  He was like a giant kid watching that stuff.  Natalya and Brayden were able to ride on an elephant too.  I thought that was cool.  They put on an awesome show and I'm glad my family was able to spend time together doing that.

Then after getting home, I find out my computer died... something with the hard drive.  Talk about screwing me over for doing my class assignments.  I took it in yesterday, luckily they were able to get it working again without replacing the hard drive yet... but I know its coming.  So yeah, that is what is going on recently.  :)

Gym Indecisiveness

Alright, so this is kind of piggy-backing on Rhonda's post about finding a gym, it just so happen that she posted on it right when I was researching on Google, while at work... for local gyms.  I've been in this mode where I know I need to get exercise in and I think a gym membership is the way to go, mainly because I want to attend classes for Yoga and Zumba.  And if I want to jump on the treadmill or elliptical I can.

But I've been super indecisive when it comes to actually joining a gym... mainly for the following reasons:

1. In the past, I'd join and NEVER GO! Wasting money. :(
2. Because of #1, I'm afraid of getting sucked into a 1-2 year contract and to be honest I'm working on my credit right now (want to buy a house in my future).
3. I hate sales people! I hate the over-aggressive sales tactics and I don't want to be put in a weird position if I'm only inquiring.
4. If I join a place... I want it to be month to month, so if some financial emergency does come up, I can cancel with 30 days notice.
5. It needs to be nearby... or I will not use it. (I admit, kind of lazy here with effort)
6. If I need daycare, its there and offered in the price.
7. And I think I want to hire a personal trainer to learn proper form & get motivation (mostly keep me accountable).

I'm sure there are more reasons in my head, swirling around.  So I definitely am not joining Gold's Gym (went on a 7 day free pass with a friend once), I don't like the environment... felt so judged for being the fat person working out and it seemed like a club for people to hook up or something.  Add in the staff, kind of sucked plus I read a ton of Yelp reviews about their contract stuff.  I was considering Anytime Fitness, but no real daycare - its a small gym.  Then I was considering CrossFit, but after doing my personal wellness class last fall and seeing my friend hurt from it, I'm like... NOPE, not for a beginner like me.  But because of that same class, it has made me seriously consider doing Yoga and Zumba, thus the reason I want a place that offers classes within the price.

So after a lot of thinking and some slight talking with my husband... because lets be real, I run things... lol.  It has been decided to join the YMCA as a family.  It costs $75 a month for 2 Adults and children (unlimited to a certain degree).  They offer various classes there and all this month they are waiving that "join" fee, which is $100 for our family size.  Plus, there are some other benefits... but I think this is a good fit not only for myself personally... but my husband and the kiddos.  

By the way... don't tell anyone... my husband had his VSG surgery 12/2/2014, he's down from 319 lbs. to 264 lbs.  Amazing!  And its time for both of us to get active.  Its a family effort.

Here's to good friends!

I've been thinking about things I want to work on and change this year... not so much weight related, but more so with my life in general.  My main focus this year is to re-connect with my close friends and really put an effort in seeing them.

Shamiya and I.

I realized after attending one of my good friends birthday dinner, December 30th... that we had not seen each other in probably 2 years.  Mind you... we do live in the Austin Area, however she lives in a little ol' town outside of Austin, more southwest and I live way opposite.  So its about an hour a drive.  But that shouldn't be an excuse.  I realized that was not good and I'm missing out on what is happening with her.

So it made me decide that I will schedule in time with friends, otherwise... it will not happen.  And I will make it happen --- unless they have something come up.  That is my goal this year... reconnect with old friends, make new friends and just keep building on all of my relationships.  Even with family.

Which lead me to being able to meet up with two of my other close friends.  We used to all work together back in 2003 - 2004.  So I asked them why not meet up and hang out!  We went to Chuy's Mexican restaurant and I ordered the Southwestern plate... which is chicken enchiladas with a fried over medium egg on it.  I ate like 4 bites, but it was gooodddd!  It was nice finally seeing their faces in person and catching up on whats happening in each other's life.  I know Facebook was meant to connect us, but I feel like it keeps people a part more than bringing them together.  Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy being on Facebook but its definitely not the same as spending time with good friends or family.

Christina, Me and Laura.

Last year, my focus was on me and doing things for myself like going back to school and doing some traveling... and while that is still something I am working on, I also want to work on making a better effort of having all my relationships in a great place.  I enjoy being around good company.

This also brings up how badly I want to move into a house (we live in a  four bedroom apartment).  I really want to be able to throw gatherings and spend time with my family and friends.  I enjoy throwing parties and decorating.  Its just hard to do in an apartment... so that is another factor.

I do admit that I've kind of pushed my other friendships over with building my friendship with my best friend Crystal.  And life has gotten in the way a lot.  Hopefully, with my own effort --- my other friends will step up too.

Just some thoughts I've had recently...

Another stall in weight loss and sad face

Alright, so I really didn't feel like talking about it..... the 2nd Stall in this journey.  Which means, I know I'll have more stalls to come but still, its frustrating and almost scary for me when I stop losing.  Why because I'm afraid of failure and also because I'm afraid that will be it.  I have to remind myself to just keep pushing forward and keep doing well.

I haven't lost anything and I'm bouncing between 198.2 and 200.8 lbs since hitting Onderland back on 1/2/2015.  I don't know what is happening.

Another weird thing is, I just had my period at the end of December and I'm already going through the PMS symptoms now to start again any day now.  My cycle is thrown off, this is NEW... I've never had this happen before because I'm regular every 33 days.  So that could be part of the issue why I haven't lost anything in two weeks... retaining water.

This past week, I did really well with getting my protein up to 70 grams or above.  I am also getting my water in.  I'm also getting my vitamins in, finished off my gummy vitamins... so now its time to try the Celebrate brand again and hopefully they will not make me puke.  I will save that for this evening, while at home.  I did look over my MyFitnessPal account to see if there is something off, I really never paid mind to Carb intake and the way my surgeon talked... they really never brought it up.  Some days were 80 and others went over 100.  I wonder if I need to try and keep it down below 50.  Maybe that will help.  And since my calories are finally hitting over 1000, its definitely time to get more active.

Thats my one thing... finding the energy and time.  I go to class two times a week for 4 hours each class.  Add in studying and doing homework, as well as taking care of these dang kids.  Okay... STOP with the excuses Amanda.  I need to make it priority, even if its only 3 times a week initially.  At least I'm doing something, right?  I have to start some time... will do something tonight, no more of the getting home and being like... I'm tired.  Lol.

In other news... plans are coming into order to go to New Orleans for Mardi Gras.  Kind of excited for that.

Onderland, Fat Brain... etc.

Not sure where I've been lately... I've been in a weird funk.  I enjoy the fact that the holidays are over but want more time off from work (really don't like my job much).  And I've felt really lazy and tired lately.  Like sleeping in until noon type of stuff.  Not sure what that is about.  I really don't feel like leaving the house unless its for work... and well school starting back up this week (for myself, the kids go back this week too).

Alright, so weigh-in for this past Friday... is...

I actually hit Onderland last Sunday... I am scale obsessed.  And between Sunday and Friday, lost 0.2? Yeah... its all good because I admit, I feel like I'm lacking.  I need to get my protein intake up and my water.  Its just so hard, even at 2 months out now.  I don't know how to fit all of these fluids and foods in.  And when I drink water, I'm gulping... even though they say sip.  It feels impossible to get it all in on top of trying to force myself to eat because most of the time, I'm not hungry.

Oh, add in... Fat brain came in and said lets have some Blue Belle Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream (that's the one food I have a hard time letting go of).  I had a small amount, but the fat girl in me was like... I can have more.  Oh, I hate a second helping of the first amount... and that sent my pouch over the edge ---- as in, made me SUPER nauseous.  I felt so sick afterward, I had to go to bed --- definitely that dumping feeling, I really thought I was going to throw up.  No more, since I can't control myself with ice cream and it is technically not healthy.

Other than that... the goal is to get to 185 lbs. by early February.  Its time to get in gear and lose 13 more pounds by then.  I can do this!  But I have to get my proteins and water... oh the struggle.

In other news... start classes this week for Intro to Psych and American Government... yay for Spring semester.  And in the next couple of weeks... back to doing the Girl Scout cookie thing again,
>>> Cookie Mom here <<<

Alright laters.

SIDE NOTE:  I try to update my stats page as I post... which seems to be weekly with the weigh-in's.  I'm happy to say... I've lost more inches in the upper body this past month.  Nice!