So it ain't just me...

The sad truth, I've been seeing a lot of people struggle. I hate watching it. I'm amongst them as well. And I realized, my family is now in the middle class gap. That gap, where you don't make enough to pay all the bills and still have money left over for food.....and where, you make too much to get any assistance for food. Ain't it lovely?

The worst part, I know ours is just a temporary thing. Where are programs for people like us? Seriously, for true emergency temporary situations. I'm not trying to live off foodstamps for the next 6 months but damn! Can we get a break.

I'm watching people that I've come close to on the net, talk about how their $400.00 overdrawn on accounts, how their about to lose their jobs or are already laid off and now waiting for unemployment to kick in. Or ones who have paid all the bills, but the kitchen cabinets are bare...and their not sure where their gonna get gas money for the next two weeks. Its like what is going on?

I know personally with us, we have the bills covered........but are deciding how to spend the 80 bucks we have. Does it go on food or gas? I guess gas, so we can get to work. But then theres the fact that the kids need lunches for the next two weeks....how will we work that out? And the reason for this situation, well....I'm working OT and David's unemployment ran out.

So what do you do to survive......then you call local food pantries for your specific zip code. In mine, they have limited places and the ones that I did get info on go by appointment only. Appointment only for food? The lady said next available is Sept 24th. What? Yes, I can read the future and know that come that time, we'll need help. OMG! What is the point of those services? Is it for the people that regularly rely on it or what? Well if people are, then maybe they should apply for foodstamps instead of going there. Just irritating.

I really do wonder....what are people supposed to do in those moments.

Trippin' or not?

So David took lil' man back to N.O. yesterday...and even picked up his mom for the visit to New Orleans, which pisses me off a bit. Considering that came out of no where about her going along and them staying down there til Sunday. I mean seriously, we don't have the money for a fun-filled weekend down there. Initially it was supposed to be him going, maybe staying the night to rest and come straight back. Then that got thrown at me, which makes me believe it was a planned thing between them for a minute.

Plus prior to this, my 17 year old nephew was supposed to ride with him for this drop off. And he mentioned last Wednesday or something about not taking him so he could go to the club with his cousin. Excuse me? WTF? Oh but he couldn't go out down here with his best friend but he can down there. Then I suggested well if he was taking his mama, then why not wait til today to go and I'll ride with him. His excuse, well I wanted to leave on Friday so I could miss traffic. Really? I just want to beat the shit out of him.

And now.......it just has me thinking about things. Like is he up to no good. Because why change up the plans, why suddenly want to hang out with everyone? And why the fuck you want to go by yourself and I'm here in Austin by myself for the weekend? So am I trippin'? Mind you, he's called me twice since being gone...(I didn't answer the phone the first times) but he called to tell me he made it and acted like he didn't want to deal with me. And then today...called to see what I was doing but acted yet again like he could careless. So why call me?

It don't help that all his exe's live down there and the one he in some sort of way left me for back in November...is in that region as well. And things between us been kind of off like the last time too. Maybe I'm just being over suspicious but shit truth be told........I don't trust him especially after what we went through and after finding out the REAL reasons behind it.

And at this point, sometimes I wonder if its best I just be alone. I love him and care about him but sometimes I wonder if its even worth all this.

I'm an 80's babbbayyy!

So last week the man that hooked us up with all those wonderful 80's classics passed away....believe, I loved Uncle Buck.........remember his big ol' tuna boat sounding like a gun popped off and then followed that stream of white smoke. That shit was hilarious. Look, I even found the pick of that tuna boat....amazing how you can find things like that on Google.

Then recently, I found this cool ass blog. Okay, its mainly structure around this woman giving career advice but she always tells it like it is. I love honest speaking people. Let me find the link, here ya go. Thats a good blog, regardless if your looking for career guidance or info or just interested in the blogger. I'm feeling the stuff she says, but back to the subject so I was reading the characteristics between Generation Y and Generation X..........and even the beginnings of Generation Z (the ones some of, including me are raising). Just some interesting tidbits about how we all will work together. Yes, I read some crazy shit...the stuff that catches my eyes. Not even sure why it caught my attention. I did learn though, I will definitely never ever ever in my life live in New York! Good lord, they pay alot to live there.

Ohh...and then tonight, decided to do some music searching MySpace, its been a minute since I've listened to albums. In the midst of it, I realized my retarded butt is listening to ol' school Joe, like its first album. Here I was thinking it was new shit, no...new to my ears. Sad. LOL. I didn't even know he came out in 1993, but glad I got to listen to it...I would have liked it. It definitely had that New Jack Swing flavor. And if you can tell my songs in my playlist, I love 80's and 90's R&B. Just an ol' school lady. Ohhh but I did find a re-do of Just Me & You by Bobby V....now thats my jam, don't it make you think of Boyz N The Hood? Or one of them hood movies...haha. Ohh...the memories. Plus I love me some Bobby V.

And then to top things off, so Aries birthday is coming up and we decided we're gonna do a skate party. Is that okay for a boy? Well he's cool with it. I am, its been years since I rollerskated but shit, I still got my skates up in the closet from when I was 14 years old (YES, I still got them!). I'm even willing to take the kiddos to the only open roller skating rink here in Austin called PlayLand. Never been there but from what I read, tell me why they don't have a snack bar? WTH? Vending machines, now thats just wack! Hopefully this weekend, but we will be stopping by to check it out.

Oh, I'm not greiving?

So its been a month since my Grandmother passed away. I get a call from my sister today, she is just tore up and still greiving due to her death. Or..........she's a major drama queen! Any heartache or turmoil, she turns it into 20x more dramatic shit than anyone I know. Then has the nerve to tell me, well I wasn't close to my grandma...thats why I am not upset.

Really? So glad you know what I feel in my heart. I loved my Grandma just as much, this is the first person in my life that has passed away. She touched me in so many ways, she raised me as well. She made an impact on the type of woman I am today. If anything, like all my family say...I'm like my mother and her combined. We're strong women, I'm sorry I'm not balling my eyes out at the drop of the dime. I'm dealing with it in a different way.

It just hurts me so much to have someone act that way towards me, like I'm not going through the pain of her no longer being there. How dare she say that shit to me. As if I feel nothing about her death because we were not close..........no, we had a different relationship. She didn't have to baby me, the way she had to with my sister.

Just pissed......