Friday, July 17, 2009

I WANT to move NOW! But I'm not...

So I've been checking out houses on Craigslist in my area for awhile. Kind of like window shopping. I knew dang well we really can't afford to. Not with having to take DJ back home, then getting the kids school clothes & supplies and going to Sea World. But I still wanted it. I hate being in our 2 bedroom. Its just so cramped and small to me. Its suffocating to me. I hate feeling like that and its getting worse to me as time goes on.

Then, I seen on ad for a 3 bedroom home, its out in the country but thats cool because its near my mom's new house. Plus it has a nice lil' yard and barbeque area that is covered. Its really cute. I spoke to the property management, even set up a time to go out and see it yesterday (because thats how anxious I am to move). So the lady that I spoke to, she kind of seemed off anyways when I asked about meeting up. But we scheduled it for 6:30pm. I go out there, its a bit far. We got there early, even got out to check out the yard and things. What do you know, 6:30 comes and goes...I call her at 6:40 and she's like nonchalant like she had nothing going on. I said, we were supposed to meet up. She goes, at 6:30. Yes...oh, on Katy Lane. I said, no on Heather Cove. Oh, we're gonna have to reschedule. BITCH? What do you think, you its 6:45 now. Really? I wanted to cuss her ass out so bad. I told David then, thats a sign....we shouldn't be doing this. We have a lease that is not over with until March I think of next year.

Since then, its been irking my nerves. I just want to be out of those apartments and I think I'm trying to find reasons to leave. Then it don't help that I have my mother in my ear telling me to do it. Hello! Its my credit, I don't need that on there. But to her, I guess it don't matter. Its not like she's ever taught us how to handle money properly or handle our credit with care.

Then this morning, its still on my mind.......I get a Tweet from Rev Run (of Run DMC) and it was like God is speaking to me through him. This is the tweet:

Good morn! Be happy 2day! Neva let circumstances control ur joy! Circumstances, Smircumstances! Be happy!! Ppl suffer because of desire.

Now if that ain't the truth and just what I needed to read/hear. Thats God talking, reinforcing the sign of that woman not showing up and telling me to hold off. Fulfill my obligation to my lease. He has a reason for all and I just to follow his lead. Because truly...I have been causing myself to suffer due to my desire. And the latest tweet from Rev Run:

Choose ur happy path! Its ur sacred privelege! Let NO 1 take it from u! Choose! A Plan is...a scheme, program or method, set up by u & 4 u!

Amen! to that. So now its time to handle other things and other debts prior to us making that move. I really need to put things in God's hands, he will definitely give us the home we are looking for and need with due time.

I feel better now...and relief. Crazy ain't it.


Monica said...

damn girl, stop telling me my story! haha! God always leads us on the right path, and it's our choice to listen!

Mrs. Rogers said...

I right there with you! I keep looking at homes in Anaheim and Long Beach, knowing we can't do anything until our lease is up next May. Not to mention, finding my husband a job out there first. I want to move!!!! (Hint: I hate Las Vegas)