My Oldest 12th Birthday, Word for 2012



Aries, 1 month old.

So exactly 12 years ago today, I gave birth to my son Aries Tremaine.  I remember going in to be induced because he was actually due on January 1, 2000.  I remember the hype of Y2K... and everyone worrying that computers would shut down or power would go out.  LOL.  I didn't really worry too much about that.  Especially with motherhood (for my young self) being around the corner.

It felt like a dream that day, all of the meds they gave me... but my baby boy was born at 5:42pm on a Thursday.  I wasn't ready for him at all, I was only 19 years old.  But he changed me.  I grew up very quickly and I'm glad he's made such an impact on my life.  We've had our tough times but overall, to see how much he's grown into a young man, it makes me proud.  He hasn't had his real dad around most of his life, basically making pit-stops here and there through out it and I know it hurts him badly.  But I hope he realizes how much everyone around him loves him.  And that his real dad is the one losing out on something great.


Aries, October 2011



He's about my height now, his hands and feet are finally bigger than mine (he measures them against mine, lol)... it just makes me cry.  I remember being so scared to touch him the day after he was born, I was so sick after having him (I had constant bladder infections through the pregnancy and it hit harder after birth).  But I remember unwrapping him from the blanket and to touch those little hands and feet. 



And to see him now at 12 years old... its hard to believe we've come this far a long in life.  I can't wait to see him grow even more.  I love my baby!  He makes me proud as a mom, especially with all the worries I've had about how his life would and will still be.  I can't wait to see the next 12 years ahead!

Now onto my word for 2012 (inspired by my fellow bandster ladies).  I've been seeing plenty of blogs about the word for 2012 this year.  And they all have had great words.  I feel like I could benefit from all of the words used.  As I look back over the past year, I realize I have made some major changes with this weight loss battle and I'm actually proud of them.  Because it takes a lot to get me going, very unmotivated... and/or lazy.  Haha.

It didn't hit me until July this year that I had to actually participate more in losing the weight.  That although in my head I wanted it, I had to work for it.  And since the beginning of August, I have not only lost approximately 10 pounds but I have gained some insight on what things need to be done to continue losing.  Although that may not seem like a lot to some... its kind of major for me because really in my life, I've never put in much effort with losing weight.  Even after getting the band.  I do admit with some of the changes that happened in the past few months, I've allowed things to go off track.... but I've also learned how to get back on track and at least maintain my loss.  I even exercised for 3 weeks... at least 5-6 days, that is a rare occurrence for me.  Lol.  I've even made sure to get in water more (which is something I never did)... in fact, by doing so its kept me off drinking so much juice. 

So my word for 2012 is:

COMMIT

com·mit (k-mt)  

VERB:  com·mit·ted, com·mit·ting, com·mits


1.  To do, perform, or perpetrate.
2.  To put in trust or charge; entrust.


OTHER FORMS:

com·mitta·ble(Adjective)



SYNONYMS:

commit, consign, entrust, confide, relegate


This word fits me at this point in life... and my weight loss journey.  Its time to totally commit to this journey and take my health seriously.  As well as know that it will lead me to feeling better about myself, which in turn will effect my relationships, my job, my life as a whole in a positive way.  I know if I feel good about me, it will spread to other areas in my life.  Its time to take hold and commit.

Home sick today... but figured I'd update

I know I haven't been blogging much and I've tried to comment on people's blogs.  Just been tired and exhausted and ready for the holidays to end.  It just seems slow in general.

I'm dealing with allergies and of course asthma.  I have had a bad sinus headaches and I think its because Cedar has finally came.  Add in all the meds I take and I'm ready to pass out.  I'll have to make it to work this week and hopefully rest up this weekend with another 3-day weekend.

As for weigh-in day, I weighed but didn't put a post up because nothing changed.  No 207 quite yet... stayed at 208.4.  Thats all good though.  I did pretty well with my water intake all week long.  As for calories, I did go over a few days all week.  My protein was VERY far up, especially since I've been drinking a protein shake in the morning.  Thats 34 grams alone.  So I think getting the protein in has helped with things more.  I'm hoping after I get my asthma under control with the Advair, Singulair and Allegra... I can seriously start working out.  I've really wanted to but its like as soon as I go outside it flairs up, or I smell cigarette smoke and it flairs immediately.  I'm coughing like a maniac and feel like a 65 year old lady that needs freakin' depends... lol.

As for Christmas, we had a great holiday.  The hubby really wanted these Jordan's that came out on the 23rd (supposedly they were this rare edition, etc).  He even sat outside the store for 12 hours only to.... come up empty handed.  LOL.  Glad for me, sad for him.  He said he would never do that shit again.  I was dying of laughter inside.  After previous arguments of me saying NO, you can't get them.  I finally just let him go through the motions and it still worked to my benefit.  He had to learn on his own.  LOL.  In the end, since he couldn't get the Jordan's... I knew he has been wanting to get a dog for awhile.  We currently live in a 3 bedroom apartment and I've said no for awhile... just last January he got a snake to say he had a pet.  Well he realized it wasn't the same.  So he sold the snake this past November.  He told me since he couldn't have a an pitbull or a bulldog (he always had this type of breeds growing up) that he wouldn't mind having a basset hound.  So luckily... after searching on Craigslist in our area, I found a 3 year old Lemon and White Basset Hound.  There was no re-homing fee, we just had to sign an adoption contract.

Booger aka Boogy the basset-hound.

Romeo, the big boy runnin' thangs!

So on Christmas Eve, we headed out to Killeen and met Booger.  And took him home.  Add in that I am allergic to some dogs.  Just so happens, I'm allergic to him too.  He loves me loving on him... and I love on a lot.  I can't help it, he's too cute.  I end up with little itchies or small hives.  But its cool... the kids love him too.  He is a major whiner... still trying to understand what he wants/needs with the whines.  He's definitely scared of my cats (mainly Romeo, the big 15 pound tomcat of our house).  The husband loves him too but apparently wasn't prepared for all the whining from the dog.  No biggie to me.  Plus he's worried I'm going to steal the dogs affections (possibly, haha).  In the meantime, this weekend we will be getting a crate for the dog for when we're all back at work and school.  I hope we can train him and he doesn't howl too bad.  Since he's a rescue... we also have to fatten him up, he's a bit skinny for this breed.  So overall my hubby is happy to finally have a pet and it just means even more that we will need to move into a house once our lease is up at the end of May.  Plus I'm ready to get into a house.  I need the space, these kids are getting too big and I can't take my downstairs neighbors anymore.

As for Christmas... we went to my parents house for Christmas Eve, with the new family pet in tow.  He met my mom's pug and they bonded quickly.  Snuk got a new bike from his Grammy and Papa, as well as some giant blocks and other toys to play with while at their house.  Naty got an easy bake oven and stated "This is the best day of my life!"  Seriously she said that.  Lol.  Aries got some Axe body spray, bath stuff.  And he also got his first BB Gun.  I also seen my niece open the gift that mattered to her most.... a cell phone.  She had been begging for one all year.  She actually cried.  Haha.  I've never seen her so emotional. 

On Christmas morning, the kiddos woke up and opened all their gifts.  They mainly got a lot of clothes, much needed.  We got Snuk a drumset, a Mater remote control truck and a cowboy gun set.  We got Naty a Paper Jamz microphone set, you can add up to 3 songs and sing with it.  And we got her a little boombox to play cd's on (she's not ready yet for a mp3 player) and a Hello Kitty bike.  And for Aries... he got a cell phone too and an mp4 player.  So they did pretty good.  Our kids are happy with the little things, but I admit... as they get older, it gets harder and harder to get these things.  My oldest son will be 12 years old in 3 more days... his bike broke on him (the chain just fell apart, add in the seat is messed up)... so I'm thinking we will get him a new bike.  He actually uses it to get to school.  So shhh...

In the end, we had a great holiday... spent it with family, no arguments.  Just love.  Exactly how I like it.  Here's some photos for your viewing pleasure.

Christmas Junk and Health Update

Hola!  How is everyone today?  I admit, I am ready for Christmas to come and GO!  All this money spent and still feeling too broke to do anything else.  Just ready to be past it.  I just know for fact, I do not like this time of year now.  Lol.  Okay, okay... maybe its not that bad.  I do enjoy it for the family time because to me, that is all that really matters since I'm usually a workaholic and don't get to see them as often.  I even admit that I miss my big brother (and thats probably because I haven't seen him in over a year and him and his family will not be coming down here for Christmas.  *sad face*)  And believe, that is major for me... me missing him.  Lol.  We have a total love/hate relationship.

Anywho... so here is a photo of just some of the junk offered at my job daily.  This is the dreaded "LTC Island" that now sits across from my desk.  Because yes... just last week they moved me from my back corner near the window to the seat near this buffet of junk!  And today, my co-worker brings in Round Rock doughnuts on top of this stuff.  Ohhh the temptation, add in the crap that people keep dropping off at my desk... Now crap I mean, Hersey's kisses or any other chocolate (I love chocolate!) or some other chocolate covered thing.  Ugghhh.  I'm trying to fight it.  I can't wait for this month to be over with!

In other news... I had my yearly physical this past Monday.  We did a blood panel to check my thyroid and she even checked my B12 and Vitamin D levels.  Got the results today.... thyroid is fine, B12 is fine, Vitamin D is low (but the nurse said thats to be expected due to the time of year) and my cholesterol is great!  My total was 183... that means it dropped since September (at that it was 186).  This is great because I was at 223 just a year ago.  My HDL was 42 and in Septmeber it was 41 (could be better, needs to be over 50) and my LDL was 119, which dropped some since in September it was 122.  I'm pretty happy with hearing the results.  I will also buy some Vitamin D, suggested 1000 to hopefully help with the tiredness I've been experiencing lately.  I'm just happy that its not my thyroid since that runs high in my family.

I did ask her about the whole constipation issue prior to having TOM visit.  She told me its common because your body literally sucks in all the water and retains it from the hormones preparing for your period.  She suggested me taking metamucil and increase my water intake prior to it... to help.  But I've noticed that the week and a half prior, its hard for me to drink because I'm not thirsty.  Weird.

I also stepped on the scale this morning and seen 207.4........ had to hit it again to make sure it was right and it was.  I hope I see that number come Sunday.  Lol.  But I have been doing well with getting my water in at 96 ounces a day.  And I didn't do too bad on my calories until yesterday... the husband was trying to get a little loving by buying me a pint of Blue Bell Cookies and Cream ice cream.  Yeah... I managed to eat the entire thing before I even knew it last night.  Uggh.

Alright... so back on track this week.

Laters...

Weigh In for 12.18.11

Weigh-In:  208.4

Sorry, I haven't felt like blogging lately.  Just so tired from all of these meds I'm taking for my asthma and allergies.  Finally got my allergies semi-under control but my asthma has been hit hard and I go to the doctor on Monday for my yearly physical.  Gonna ask about getting some medicine to do breathing treatments with my nebulizer.  

Outside of this... I am down 1.2 pounds from last week.  Thank GOD! I broke my lowest weight.  Lets see TOM has came to visit officially last Thursday... he should be leaving any day now.  And I've noticed for whatever reason, prior to TOM's arrival I get VERY backed up.  It was horrible the last week and a half.  But as soon as TOM came...... OMG, I was dying with all the stomach cramps, etc.  I am sorry if I'm being graphic but damnnnn.... LOL.  I usually do my best NOT to use public facilities for going #2 and especially at my job.  But OMG... Friday, it was like BAM it hit me and it was bad.  I went to the bathroom at least 4 times while at work and was only there for my normal 8 hour shift.  I felt sorry for my co-workers.  Then it hit me again at home.  I have never had that happen.  Sorry for the shitty story.... haha.  I was like damn... I better have lost some weight.

I do know I haven't been making very great choices on food... its been so hard.  Lets see, at work they moved us around... so now my desk is right next to the dreaded "LTC Island".  I call it this because our department (Long Term Care claims) is known for always having food on this counter.  But its always really bad during the holidays.  Everyone is bringing in all these goodies they made or there are candy dishes (with all of the Hersey chocolates) or we get basket of goodies from some of the vendors we work with.  It looks like a damn buffet of JUNK over there.  And now I sit right next to it.  Very very tempting and hard to avoid.  I have been doing good.  But we also did Secret Santa this week... and one of my gifts included a giant candy bar and this huge coffee mug filled with Kisses.  I have been scarfing those damn Kisses down.  

Lets hope this coming week gets better.......

I'm pretty sure I will not seen Onderland by the 1st of the year, but as long as I keep moving down thats all that matters to me at this point.  I can focus more after these holidays pass.  :)

Oh... check out my oldest son's hair... his dad hooked him up.  We also dropped him off at his first YMCA - Midnight Madness event this past Friday.  He came home with a girl's number, he was so proud.  He told me how her friend asked him if he liked the girl.  He said she had hazel eyes... thats what caught his attention.  LOL.  He's in 6th grade and turns 12 years old this month.  The teenage ways have begun!

 

He's also been begging for a cell phone.  We promised one once he's met all of the following things.... he hits 12 years, he gets good grades (hoping for straight A's but some B's are okay), does his chores and has a good attitude.  So far, he's fulfilled his side.  He still has his moments of talking back but he is a good kid overall.  In fact, his grades came in... and he's managed to get all A's and one B.  Its a dramatic change from last year (very difficult year).  

As for the haircut... all his friend are now calling him, Honey Badger.  I guess he looks like that guy from the LSU team.  LOL.  I think its cool.  Hubby is going to school for cosmetology but has always been talented with cutting hair.  He just decided to do the blond treatment on him.

Anywho... thats about it... laters!

Weigh In for 12.11.11

Weigh-In:  209.6

So I'm down 0.2 pounds this week.  It appears I'm only maintaining at this point.  No real exercise in the routine and to be honest, I just don't have the energy for some reason.  I'm not working as much and I come home... but I do have to admit the past week I have been feeling more wore out and I think its allergies.  

Down here in Austin, we get Cedar Fever... I haven't seen the Cedar pollen show up on the allergy forecast but it usually starts this time of year and only in the past week have I started getting the deep, raspy, sexy voice.  I'm under a lot of meds due to this and when I mix the allergy with my anxiety meds.... its like I am super drowsy.  It sucks!  Add in that its been really cold here, I just hate going out in the cold and the husband was sick this week too.

I really want to be in Onderland by the 1st of the year but I'm just feel VERY unmotivated.  Its like I just want to throw in the towel and say..... I'll re-start at the 1st of the year once all the food and holidays are gone.  I admit it!  Everyone has brought out all the mini-chocolates from Hersey's and Reese's buttercups.  I eat about 6 of these a day, in the afternoon.  And then if the chips are in the house, I end up snacking on them even though I know damn well I'm not really hungry for them.  They don't even taste that great, their too salty actually.  Ugggh...  I'm struggling right now.

Now I didn't have a too horrible week overall with calories... in fact I was under all but 1 day, but I went wayyy over on sodium intake on some days.

Also, I've been dealing with stomach issues too.....  and using my Agave sweetner is not helping with it anymore.  I even tried my some Metamucil pills my friend gave me but that didn't help.  I hear all this gurgling  but thats it.  I'm like really?  Really?  

Anywho...I hope the rest of you had a better week.  And I'm sorry for not being on as much, just been really focusing on work this week and trying to be a better employee, so far so good!  :)

Happy Birthday?

Yep... today is the day I was born 31 years ago.  I wish I could say its really happy but that would be a lie.  I don't care if I celebrate at all either.  I didn't do anything for it this weekend and really have no plans to do anything in general.  I guess I should feel blessed to be here another year but who knows.  Just feeling real blah lately...  Life is really beating me up lately.  I know it can only get better, right? Ha!  I hope so.

I'm so over everything right now.......... lol.

The picture above is the envelope to the birthday card I got from my co-workers.  Nice!  My one co-worker is so great at doing these things.  Lol.  I actually like it and wasn't expecting anything... this year no one forgot it was my birthday (which sucks since I want to forget this year).

Have a great day everyone!  Seriously.

Weigh In for 12.04.11

Weigh-In:  209.8

Down to 0.6 lbs this week.  Not much to say other than, I did my best to stay under calories each day this past week.  Ranging between 920 - 1450 calories... so I was technically under calorie each day.  The only difference was I didn't get my water in every day.  I think I went over sodium one day.  I'm happy with this but I know that I really need to up my protein up, get my water in every single day... and get my ass moving some to lose the weight that I want and be down in Onderland by the 1st of the year.

Lets see how this coming week goes.

It is what it is...

I hate that statement, but being the person that I am... I'm pretty much the type that lives on the realistic side of things.  And when I hear that being applied to something happening directly to me, it kills me to admit that when some else is saying it to me.  Truth hurts though, right?

I've been dealing with some issues with work and well I can't really divulge the details openly, its something that I have to deal with better.  Even I have to come to the conclusion that I need to learn to deal with it better.  I used to wonder when I was younger why so many of the older people would get upset by changes made.  Now that I'm in my 30's, I've caught myself being that type of person.  The type that gripes about all the new changes, the type that gets caught up in the office politics, the type that is almost always pessimistic and just a plain ol' complainer.  I don't want to be that type of person, I like being a team player and the person others can come to if they need help.

Why?  I admit there are some people I work with that are very much like this... and maybe I've allowed myself to get caught up in the mix of it.  And now it has directly affected me.  So from this day forward, I'm going to work on changing it.  Again, I am the only one responsible for my actions.  Time to be accountable, worry only about me and the job I'm doing... and not worry about others.  As I look back on the past 6 months, I can say I probably have not been the best worker... attitude wise.  I've made sure to do my job at the best of my ability and follow direction but my attitude about certain things has not been great and I do need to work on that.

I know there are things I cannot control about others around me or how things are handled, but I can control me.  So that's what I will be doing going forward.  Putting my best foot forward.....