and I had my moment of self-pity. I'm so happy I have my BBC girls there to help remind me of where I'm at and what blessings I have.
At times, I wish I had IRL friends that were there for me more often. And I admit, at times I might not be the best friend IRL as well. I just wish I had someone near me, I think thats the biggest problem. All my IRL friends live far from me and its hard keeping in touch because we're not around each other but once every 3 months or so. Plus we're all grown and living our own lives. But sometimes and mainly on my birthday, I just want that big ol' surprise or big "to do" about my day. It just doesn't happen. I guess thats just part of being an adult or is it? Thats what I wonder. So I cried.........like a big ass baby.
I see photos of one of my IRL friend's other friends and their big ol' birthday parties, and wish that I could be the receiver of one of those one time. But I have to think back, last year was the crappiest birthdays EVER! Yeah, I had people say Happy Birthday.......but that was it, no card...no cake, no dinner. David and I were going through things and he wasn't even there.
So this year, I have my man.....I have all my children and we are doing great. I just still feel like I'm missing something today. The big deal of it being my day. I have to admit, I'm an attention seeking person. Haha. Then there's the other thing.......NO CAKE because I have the lap band. That sucks booty.
So after crying.......I do feel better. I just hope to see some friends this weekend to get out and about. As one of my BBC friends said, I need a break from the routine.......hopefully it happens this weekend.