Saturday, December 8, 2007

Reflections of 2007

So I've been thinking about the past year and whats happened. Its crazy how in January you see it one way and it turns into a completely other direction. But I can't complain about this year, its been a very good year to me considering how things went the year before.

I just think at the beginning of the year, I was with this person that was a complete liar. I knew he was. Hell a month before that I found out he was married, and for a moment I was actually thinking I could believe what he said and try to make it work. Thank GOD! it didn't go any further. I had my feelings wrapped up in him. While he sat back and was trying to play me. The thing is, I was doing my own dirt because I knew he was a liar. So was it really dirt? I had my reasons, in the end I waited until he called it quits. I admit, from time to time...I think about the friendship we had. The reminders every time I see a freakin' Impala...but its all bad memories. Even going back to Austin to visit for Thanksgiving, it had me think of the shit I went through w/ this man. It brings back the hate and dislike I have for him. And realize, we didn't have a "real" friendship. It was built on lies. Definitely a life lesson, something that was hard but I'm glad I went through it.

Its funny because I never figured I'd move from Austin. Its like it hit me, I want to make some changes. Especially going through some drama w/ idiot people early on in the year outside of the married dude. I just knew I had been in Austin too long and it was time for a new start. I even managed to get two job offers before coming here. I knew then, this is where I should be. I was so scared it might be the wrong decision but it worked out. Yes, the job I initially took wasn't where I wanted to be but this entire year I've been blessed to NOT be w/ out work and go where I WANTED TO GO! I moved in my career because I chose to do it. Its the best feeling in the world to know I have those capalibilites. I realized how confident I am, how much I do have to offer when it comes to the knowledge I hold in my field. And believe, it took some time to get the courage up to make those bold steps.

The best part though, was meeting the love of my life. I know this person is the love of my life because things are so different in this relationship. I always said it, if you want a good lasting relationship with can't start it on some bullshit foundation. So many people, cheat or start talking to one another while this person's talking to or messing w/ this person. Its like our lives lined up at the right time. He was single, dating. So was I. I never thought that we would end up together. I just wanted to be single and chill. But we spent so much time together that it built into this. I've been completely faithful and he has to. Which is a first on both ends. Its like we compliment each other. Its real love. We've had some hard times, things that married couples deal with. Mainly because my mentality is set on....its US, not me or you. US! One unit working towards the same goal. Do you know how beautiful it is to have someone on the same page as you. That connection, that raw honesty with one another and not fear that they can't handle what your saying? That unconditional love.

At this point, I can say I am the happiest I've ever been. Times have been hard this year but at the end of the day...I have my family. I have my children and I have David. Its a wonderful thing, after longing for these things for so long...its happened.

Now I look forward to 2008, we will be getting married in October. Things are heading the right direction. I truly feel blessed at the end of the day, no matter what we're dealing w/ at the moment.............God has blessed us!

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