Saturday, July 10, 2010

Uggh...The Headache that never dies!

So I'm feeling better, at least emotionally.  Not as depressed feeling, but it appears I still am.  I seem to only get tearful when I talk about the miscarriage in-depth with people.  I've actually been feeling like my ol' goofy self.  Which is strange to me.  Not sure why.  But then, we have all these other stresses going on at home.  We don't have any more checks coming from David since he's off from school for the summer.  His next check won't come until September.  Which kind of sucks.  I know if we didn't have all these other money things going on before, we could have better prepared.

So since feeling better, I've managed to catch a tension headache.  It won't leave!  It makes me want to scream.  Its like wrapping around the back of my head.  Its crazy feeling like this.  Maybe because I'm not getting all depressed my body is now acting out physically.  Crazy!

In the meantime, I've been working really hard at work.  I'm going to do my best not to let the job get to me anymore.  I know I took on the position given to me, but I also know and have explained to my manager...and they are aware.  I am the only one doing it, and its basically too much work for just one person.  So even though they want this really short turn around time, its going to be hard for me to meet considering I am 3 weeks behind!  And I don't have anyone helping me get caught up.

Monday, I was suppose to go to True Results for my lapband.  But I know I don't have money for that visit or even paying on my balance right now.  So I'm going to reschedule until later.  Truth is, I know I need to get a barium swallow and I don't want to waste a visit just to be told their not doing a fill because they want a barium swallow.  Fact is, I want a barium swallow.  Its been almost 5 months since my last fill and I am eating more and 8 months since my surgery.  I need one.  I think once I get that back in order, I'll feel a little better on that side of life.  Sucks to know that in the past 8 months, I've only lost a total of 30 pounds.  It should be more but with life happening, its slowed down the progress and even I have sabotaged myself.

By the way, weighed myself this morning....218.  I'm losing weight again, but I know I'm still eating more than I should.  Oh and I had my first therapist appointment last Monday, it went well.  Maybe thats why I feel a little better.  I go back this Monday, lets see what happens!

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