Saturday, July 17, 2010

Much Better Week

I'm doing better lately.  Basically not letting the job, the financial and other things stress me out.  As for the loss of the baby, well I'm not tearing up as much and just doing better when it comes to talking about the miscarriage.  It has made us think about having kids in the future and we've both decided, we are for sure done.  We have in total 4 wonderful kiddos.  Thats enough for us, it would have been a blessing to have another one and we were excited but it happened this way for a reason.

Outside of that, I've gone to 2 therapy sessions and its definitely helping.  I guess just being able to talk to someone.  It seems like I'm so cut off from the world right now.  I have a sister who is so messed up on drugs, dealing with CPS taking her kids away.  My brother and his family are in Houston.  I have very few friends that I rarely see.  It just seems like I have no outlet anymore.  No one to turn to, to just vent about things in my life.

Then we took my youngest to his 18-month old well check and on top of him wearing glasses at this age.  Now I need to take him for a hearing test and start speech therapy.  He's falling behind.  It don't help that I had to take an Autism questionnaire and it appears the doctor is concerned.  He's been having issues with eating.  We recently finally got him off baby food and trying our solid food.  But even then, its been hard.  He finally trying to eat finger foods like popcorn, chicken nuggets, etc.  But he's not eating on his own with a spoon or fork, not eating spaghetti or something.  Its just hard since I've never gone through this.  And then having access to the internet and reading the symptoms of potential autism....and the fact that he fits into some of them, its really scary.  The unknown!  Uggh!

But we'll get through this, like everything else.  Weighed myself this week and down to 215 lbs.  Not sure how I lost 3lbs......oh stress I guess.