Weigh In for 10.23.11

Weigh-In:  213.4

Hello everyone... I haven't been blogging much just because of all the personal things happening.  But I will be back on the scene again now... 

As for weigh-in goes, the number has gone up in the past week by like 3-4 pounds which makes no sense why the number would increase that much.  Depending on the day, it has been fluctuating.  I know for numerous reasons why my weight has jumped up.  But at least I'm being honest about it.  I just don't want to see that number up there, haha.  So all the shit I've been doing this past week and lets be real for... awhile now, its just finally catching up.

• No water intake this week, a little bit but barely anything.  Seriously... I haven't drank much of it, I would probably say about a cup for the entire week.
• Bad food choices for meals.
• Severe bloating, along with being constipated (I wanted to lay down and sleep...with the way my stomach has been aching all week).
• Snacking... yes, eating little candies at work since everyone has the damn Halloween candy bowls around their desks.
• No exercising (at all and well seriously, I wasn't doing shit for weeks and my leg is okay now).
• High sodium intake on some days.

So MY PLAN for this week is to get some of them Magnesium Oxide pills (thank you Sarah for the suggestion).  Will be getting that today and Wally World.  I can't take the freakin stomach pains and bloating any more.  I never had this issue before the surgery and it just gets worse over time.  

I am going to start walking in the evenings.  I want to exercise more but I also know I plan on doing overtime at work this week and I will be exhausted from all the crap up there mentally that I would rather just walk it out at home in the evenings.  Especially with it being cooler and well lets be real, I am kind of starting from scratch again and I'm a bit afraid of jacking my knee up again.  So I need to take things slower this time.

And well definitely watch what I'm eating and get my damn water in to flush all this sodium/bloating things happening, OUT!  I'm so close to being to ONEDERLAND and I want to be there by December.  I can do this.
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On a personal note:  The past week has been very nice.  Its been like a honeymoon period.  Still is.  I went to therapy last Monday and it helped me clarify some things for myself and well even for our relationship.  Kind of set up a plan of action for us to get back on track with things.  I even admit that I was becoming a bit obsessive with checking phone logs and feeling like anything out of his mouth was a damn lie.  I do still feel like that but its not as bad.  She helped me realize it was anxiety.  Anxiety and fear of things happening again.  I have to learn, I can only control me.  Since I have chosen to let him back I have to also forgive in actions, not just words.  Which means stop the obsessive bombarding of question over question... feeling like I am still not getting the truth.  Its only putting a road block on the healing process.  I guess in the end, I wanted to make sure I knew who this other woman was... I wanted to know every detail (truth is, what was knowing all of it going to accomplish?).  I know the truth is... its on him to fix himself and his behaviors so in the end it fixes us.  Of course I have my part to play, but it really boils down to him working on things.  So we have a plan and we'll see how it all goes.  I love me some him!