Clarification for me... has come

I do have to say, I am in a better place today... than I have been the last two weeks.  I do believe that the doctor I seen for the revision surgery, does take band patients from other doctors.  I am thinking about inquiring with that instead of the actual revision.

So yeah, I met with the new doc.  Do you know how awesome it was to meet with him.  I was so nervous.  But he did the consultation.  He explained everything, he went through my entire record and really spent the time to go over this with me.  Just that in general... makes me wish he was my doctor for the band.  He did say he believes the VSG would be right for me and even though there is the chance of it being harder to lose with a revision, it shouldn't be for me since technically I didn't lose close to 80-100 lbs like others and then gain it back.  So there is hope, its just all about the finances now.  To be honest, thats the part that scares the me most.

So looking into all that jazz.  I'm still on the fence...

But with regard to other life things, I'm usually a happy-go-lucky type of chic.  So when I go dark... its real dark.  I'm feeling better, its time to get things in order.

Add in going back to school and the frustrations of being in a job where you feel like there is no room for promotions.  But school is my focus... outside of focusing on myself and the family.  I am in the middle of taking my College Algebra class, it SUCKS!  I just pray to pass with at least a C.  It has been over 10 years since I took my last math class.

Another thing is I disconnected from Facebook.   I kind of realized that it preoccupied too much of my time.  Now I'm not off anything else... but I rarely get on other social media things.  I have my IG, Kik and Snapchat... mainly to watch my 14 year old son.  LOL.  And add in, I just kind of felt like certain so-called friends or family were not connected to me and my every day life.  I don't think I want to share much of my life with them and other people I rarely interact with except on there.  I think some family/friends assumed because we are connected on there... there is no need to call, text or even physically hang out since they know what is up with me.  When in reality, they DON'T.  Instead of feeling connected to people on Facebook, I actually feel disconnected and almost lonely.  And I figure, if these people want to know whats up with me, they can put in the effort.

So yeah... a lot of thinking... don't have all the answers, but I do feel better.