Long Time No See

Well its been awhile since I've posted.  Just so much happening in life.  I guess I really didn't feel like saying much on here.  I know I haven't been doing well with the weight loss thing.  Disappointing since my one year anniversary since the surgery came and went...and well I'm only at about a 30 pound weight loss.

Majority of the setbacks is myself.  And dealing with that fact hasn't been realize.  Considering I tend to beat myself up more than someone else would.  I did start getting fills done again in August.  I did two, but they were like baby ones because the nurse was afraid of how my stomach would act since it had been 5 months prior.  Truth is, I think the lack of fills is what also helped in stopping my progress.  I'm still not at my "green spot", but I'm almost there.  I had a new fill done the week of Thanksgiving and since then, its been working a lot better.

When I went back that day in November...she said I had gained 3 pounds between August & November.  But since getting the fill, I've lost the 3 pounds.  I'm going back for another fill this month...and hopefully this gets me to the "green" zone, then add in actual exercise and I should be on a kick start for getting to ONEDERLAND.  Whats that?  Getting my weight down to 100's.  I'm almost there...and I can't wait!

I also turned 30 this month.  Celebrated with bowling with a few friends.  Yet it was a depressing moment, I heard of Birthday Depression and I had just that.  Year 30 is a marker.  And most of the depression came from feeling lonely.  Lonely not in my relationship with my husband but not having female friends.  That best friend thing.  I hate that I have that...but I'm getting better about that feeling.  Overall, I know that I have a few great friends that always seem to come through.  Thats what counts.  That saying about you can only count your real number of friends on you hand, TRUE!  But I do have to say, it does appear the weight loss has helped.  I noticed in this picture of me bowling that I do look thinner than before.  Crazy!  I guess like hubby said, I have that "fat girl" mentality.  I wonder if that will ever go away.  Hmmm...

But thats a whole other story...........so here I go again on the re-start/revamp of my weight loss journey.  Along with all the other things going on in life!